FIC: Warmth [chapter 5]

[leashy_bebes]

Part 5: Out Where the Night Bus Doesn't Run
Maybe PG now? The boys are drunk and sweary. Still preslash.





"Moony Moony Moonbeam McMoonerson?"

"What?"

"Just checking you're alive."

"Alive, yes. Sober, no."

"Good, good."

"Any particular reason you want me to be soused?"

"Soused?"

"Bladdered. Smashed. Out where the Night Bus doesn't run. Three sheets to the wind. Pissed. Inebriated and intoxicated and insensible. You know, drunk."

"Wow, it's like having my very own pet thesaurus."

"Haaaa."

"What was that?"

"Shut up. So. Drunk, and why you want me to be it. Explain."

"Just the principle of the thing. Always better than sober, isn't it?"

"They have groups for people like you, you know. Places you can go and – and steps, and things. Twelve of them."

"I got about one word in three, there."

"Well. Not bad, all things considered. It's Muggle stuff."

"You and your Muggles."

"This from the boy who wants a motorbike."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Where's the birthday boy?"

"Sleeping in the bath."

"Er – "

"S'alright, he has his clothes on and I let the water out."

"And left him there?"

"I'm not dragging his soggy arse all the way across the dorm."

"Such a caring and considerate friend you are, Padfoot."

"I am. Peter's in bed, by the way. Your bed, but it's still bed."

"Aw. My bed? Psh. I don't think I'm moving tonight anyway."

"You're really far gone, aren't you?"

"If you think so, then yes."

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that if the bloke who once got so pissed he mistook Simmons from Ravenclaw for a girl thinks I'm far gone, then I am indeed probably pretty far gone."

"...when did I mistake Simmons for - oh! Ohhhh."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"Sure?"

"..."

"Sirius?"

"Moony?"

"Mmm?"

"You...have never really had a girlfriend."

"...true."

"And... I have never really had one either and I know why I haven't and I was wondering if the reason you haven't is the same reason that I haven't."

"Uhh. What?"

"Why haven't you ever had a girlfriend?"

"Because...they don't like me. Girls. They don't like me."

"They do. I've seen them perving on you. Yeah I have, don't give me that look."

"Padfoot – "

"What about that 'puff with the big smile, she obviously wants you?"

"I don't want her."

"No?"

"No. It's - complicated."

"So simplify, Moony."

"It's - the furry problem. I couldn't - do that - with someone who doesn't know. You know?"

"What? Why not?"

"Because - because - if they don't know that, then... It's so big, Padfoot, if they don't know that then how can they really know me?"

"And - what - someone has to know every little thing about you before you can shag them?"

"It's hardly a little thing. And anyway the scar is...right there. And obviously toothy."

"Can I see it?"

"...you've seen it before."

"Yeah."

"So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Why do you break the hearts of your female admirers on such a regular basis?"

"Are - are you serious?"

"No, that would be you."

"Shut up, I mean - you really don't know?"

"I don't. Obviously, I've wondered if it's the poor personal hygiene, or maybe the - "

"Shut up, my hygiene is excellent."

"Fleas."

"Once. That happened once. Bet I caught them from Moony, anyway."

"Oh, please. Moony doesn't exist long enough to catch fleas."

"Yeah, yeah. Guilty conscience?"

"Not in the slightest. So come on, then. If it's not the fleas, and it's presumably not to fan the flames of your ego - "

"I have you to do that for me."

"Well, quite. So, what is it then? Do you just like seeing women cry?"

"Shut up! They rarely cry."

"Not since Louisa in fourth year. Poor cow."

"Oh Godric. Do you have a record of every time I've knocked a girl back?"

"Not every time. I do have to make room for the little things like school work and meals and breathing."

"Tosser. So. All that, and you really don't know why I've never had a girl?"

"Nope. Care to enlighten me?"

"I don't - like girls."

"You like Lily well enough."

"Shh. That's a secret. Anyway, I don't fancy her, is the point I'm trying to make."

"Umm...what?"

"Fucking hell, you're making this difficult."

"...oh!"

"Got it?"

"I...think so. You, um - you never mistook Simmons for a girl, did you?"

"Of course I didn't."

"So you - you're - you like boys."

"...yes. The word is gay, Moony."

"...why didn't you tell me this before?"

"...you walked in on me kissing a boy. I didn't think it really needed saying after that."

"I suppose. So - you and Simmons. Are you - You know. Is he your boyfriend?"

"No! No, no. I was pretty pissed that night. Just not pissed enough to think he was a girl."

"Blimey."

"You're not - are you angry?"

"Noooo. Don't be daft."

"But I thought – alright. Never mind."

"Never mind wha'?"

"Nothing, Moony. Honest."

"Mmmm."

"You alright?"

"Sleepy."

"Bed?"

"Peter is there."

"Blanket and sleep in the common room?"

"Mmm, please."

"Accio blanket. There you go."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure. Sleep well, Moony."

"..."

Comments

[myworldmytrue.livejournal.com]

Just thought I'd stop by to tell you how much I'm enjoying this series of yours. Loved Remus's thesaurus moment. Such an eloquent drunk, him!

Can't wait for that awkward morning after! :D

[leashy-bebes.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) I'm really glad you're enjoying it. Haha, I'm looking forward to writing an awkward morning after. I'm so mean.