FIC: Every Love and Each Regret 3.3

[leashy_bebes]

Every Love and Each Regret
Part 3, Chapter 3.
Getting there! Honest!
Lyrics from Red Hot Chili Peppers' Otherside




i heard your voice through a photograph



Remus pauses outside the nursery when he hears Sirius' voice inside, along with Harry's replies which are more coherent by the day.

"This is your mummy," Sirius says, and although the tremor is evident in his voice, he covers it well. Remus hears him blow a raspberry on Harry's neck and the resulting shriek before Sirius continues. "She was so pretty, Harry. I used to pretend I didn't notice and it drove your dad mad, but she was a real looker, yes she was. And brave too, baby. Your mummy was so brave all the time and she could fix anything. Yeah, and she was a great witch too. Number of times she caught me with a stinger or a jelly-legs. Stroppy mare, really, but I usually deserved it. She used to sing all these muggle baby songs to you. I'd try but I never had time to learn them from her. Anyway, her voice was fairly good - used to tell her she sounded like a kneazle farting in the fog of course, but she was good. I sound like a banshee. In a sack. Going down the stairs. Oh, mate, your mummy was brilliant."

"Where is my mummy?" Harry asks, only infant curiosity in his tone and Remus almost walks in because words seem to have failed Sirius.

"She - she's with daddy. See your daddy there? They - they had to go away y'see because um…well, they just did. But they're somewhere - nice. I refuse to say the word heaven kid, but they're somewhere really nice. They love you. We love you."

"Love Pads."

Remus closes his eyes and has to breathe deeply for a moment.

"See daddy on his broom?" Sirius continues. "Such a good flier, your daddy. He was my best friend in the world, you know that? Like my brother. You know, brother?" he asks, and Remus can perfectly picture him looking at Harry, all mock seriousness. "Yeah, your dad was a legend. Never met anyone like him for raising hell. If you've got even a bit of his marauderly spirit then we'll be in for trouble in a couple of years. One time he made every single cauldron in the school explode at once all by himself, you know? You look a bit like him, actually. Same stupid hair. Mummy's pretty eyes though, haven't you? Oh, they loved you so much, kid. When you were in mum's tum, they couldn't wait to meet you - so excited they used to talk to you already. Well, your dad mainly, the great soft git."

"Git!" Harry says gleefully.

"Shh!" Sirius says, although there's obvious amusement in his voice. "If Moony hears I'll get in trouble."

"Moony!" Harry sings out.

"Yeah, Moony," Sirius agrees, singing it the same way. "See, there he is. Well, all of us, really."

Remus knows which picture it is, one from the last day of school with Peter carefully and completely removed. In the photo, they're in the Great Hall, and James has his arm around Lily, shoving Sirius into Remus with his other hand. Remus catches Sirius deftly and says something into his ear that makes him whirl wide-eyed and nudge Remus delightedly.

"Don't we look young and handsome?" Sirius asks, snorting with laughter, and obviously tickling Harry judging by the answering giggles. "Look, there's another one of Moony."

That's news to Remus, who thought he knew all the photos in the collage Sirius had put together for Harry. Still though, Harry only wants Sirius to settle him at night lately, so he could have made additions without Remus noticing.

"And that's a book," Sirius adds. "They're his best friends. Hmm. Do you love Moony?"

"Yes!" Harry says vehemently and Remus grins.

"D'you love me?" Sirius asks.

"Mmmm yes."

"Huh. Good to know you had to think about it first," Sirius grunts playfully. "See, that's when Moony was at school with me and mummy and daddy. Happy days, kiddo."

Harry makes a bubbly noise and Sirius laughs before sighing.

"He used to love me," Sirius says sadly, and Remus can't breathe for a moment. “That’s what he’s saying in that picture, that he loves me.” There's silence for a moment before Sirius continues, "We used to love each other so much. And then, mate, Uncle Sirius did something really stupid. I do that a lot, you'll see.” Another silence and then, “Wanna fly, Harry?"

"Yes!"

"Ready, ready, readyGO!" Sirius shouts and Remus knows he's hefting Harry into the air, letting go, and catching him again. Harry shrieks in delight and Remus tiptoes away, his chest aching strangely.




one month later...

Comments

[brighty18.livejournal.com]

This killed me with it's poignancy: "She - she's with daddy. See your daddy there? They - they had to go away y'see because um…well, they just did. But they're somewhere - nice. I refuse to say the word heaven kid, but they're somewhere really nice. They love you. We love you."

"Love Pads."

Lovely, as usual, and it is good to see Sirius emerging from such darkness.

Still, this was so heart-breaking: "He used to love me," Sirius says sadly, and Remus can't breathe for a moment. “That’s what he’s saying in that picture, that he loves me.” There's silence for a moment before Sirius continues, "We used to love each other so much. And then, mate, Uncle Sirius did something really stupid. I do that a lot, you'll see.”

I'm glad Remus got to hear him, though.

[leashy-bebes.livejournal.com]

I didn't know how else to give them the much needed kick up the backside ;)