fic: Taking Time
Apr. 14th, 2012 05:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leashy_bebesTitle: Taking Time
Pairing: Merlin/Gwaine
Rating: NC17
Summary: Merlin has a challenge for Gwaine, and Gwaine is more than willing to rise to it.
Content Notes: Established D/s, (so much omg) object insertion/arse play, size kink, a wee bit of consent play, and a vague hint of medical kink.
Notes: Set in the same 'verse as (Safe) Words and A Force When We're Together. Please heed the warnings. If it needs saying, you can rest assured I don't own these characters. Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
marguerite_26 for the beta.
Word Count: ~5800
or read here @ a03
When Gwaine gets to Merlin's on Friday evening, Merlin isn't back from work yet. Gwaine lets himself in with his key and waits on the sofa. He's not sure what to expect for the weekend. Merlin had asked him a while ago to find an entirely free weekend, and Gwaine has been wondering why ever since. He takes a very thorough shower and then pulls on his jeans and t-shirt again and pads barefoot to the living room.
He lets himself sprawl on sofa, indulging himself in Merlin's space, the presence that always lingers. He sits up sharply when he hears Merlin's key in the door, a smile tugging at his lips. Merlin calls out a greeting as he walks in, alerted by the soft burbling of the radio in the background.
"Hi," Gwaine says, quickly getting to his feet.
Merlin's face melts into a smile and he holds his arms out to Gwaine. Merlin gives him a sweet kiss, curling his fingers under Gwaine's chin.
"Good day?" Gwaine asks.
"Bearable," Merlin says, kissing Gwaine again before shrugging out of his jacket. "I need to go and take a shower," he says.
Gwaine nods. "Want me to come and scrub your back?"
He's only half joking, and can't help a twinge of regret when Merlin just smiles and tells him, "Another time. I won't be long."
Sure enough, Merlin's back quickly. His hair is curling damply on his neck and he's dressed in soft black trousers and a shirt that Gwaine loves on him. He sits on the sofa with Gwaine and stops him when he goes to move to the floor.
"I got something new for us to play with," Merlin says, and those words feel hard-wired to Gwaine's cock by now.
"What is it?"
Merlin tips his head towards the bedroom. "If you don't want to, just leave it in the box. We'll do something else."
Gwaine grins and leans over to kiss Merlin before he goes. "Sounds interesting."
Merlin curls his fingers into Gwaine's hair and kisses him again. "Mmm. Either way, lose the clothes."
Gwaine laughs delightedly and lets Merlin give him a little push towards the bedroom. The box at the end of the bed is of a familiar, excitingly nondescript type, and Gwaine's quick to undress, folding his clothes and putting them onto the empty shelf in Merlin's wardrobe that they use for such things. There's nothing waiting on the shelf for Gwaine to put on, so he takes up his customary position, kneeling at the foot of the bed before he opens the box.
When he does, his mouth goes dry. It's a dildo, realistically shaped, but so large it looks barely shy of being a joke one. The surface is soft and the tip flexible, but the shaft feels solid enough that Gwaine can feel tremors already, of excitement, of trepidation, of the heady mixture of both. It's bigger than the biggest one they have, bigger by a good inch around, and longer by a few more. The head is flared and the shaft veined, a handgrip at the base. Gwaine gets ahead of himself like always, already imagining the sense of triumph that would come from taking such a thing, the ache, and how heart-stoppingly careful Merlin would be with him afterwards.
He takes it out almost worshipfully, pushing the empty box under the bed and settling in to wait, kneeling at the foot of the bed with the dildo resting on his upturned palms. It takes a little while for Merlin to join him. When he does, he squeezes Gwaine's shoulder on his way past. Gwaine keeps his eyes on the thick pole in his hands.
"You like it, then?" Merlin asks, and Gwaine nods. "Show me."
Gwaine bows his head and mouths at it, at the thick shaft, the carefully moulded veins under his tongue. It's sideways on and he wraps his mouth around as much of it as he can, like a dog with a bone. Merlin makes a noise that sounds pleased, but he's quick to say, "Suck it now."
Gwaine does, the flared head filling his mouth beautifully, the dildo heavy and solid – really solid – on his tongue. He can feel his mouth filling with drool, wetting the slide and lets his eyes close as he takes it deeper, pushing himself. Merlin's fingers on his face stop him with a single touch and he pulls it out, realises how little of it he was able to wet with his mouth, and feels his first real flare of trepidation. The inside of his mouth feels puckered up from the smooth texture. Merlin takes the toy – although it seems absurd to call something so intimidating a toy – and disappears out of Gwaine's eyeline.
When he comes back, he sits on the end of the bed and pats the mattress, guiding Gwaine up to sit next to him. Merlin kisses him once, just quickly, and says, "Now, listen. There will be times when I'll tell you to be still and you must do it. No questions asked, no matter how wound up you are, if I tell you to be still, you can only move to breathe, do you understand?"
Gwaine nods, already slipping under.
"I can tie you up, use a spreader bar," Merlin offers. "But if you're bound, then you're bound from the start."
"No. No, I'll be good," Gwaine promises.
Merlin smiles at him bright and stunning. "I know you will." He kisses Gwaine then, a kiss of raw lust, the type which he won't allow himself again until afterwards. There will be affectionate kisses, demanding kisses, kisses planned to steal Gwaine's breath right when Merlin chooses. But they will all be careful in their own way, based on Merlin's assessment of their needs. Gwaine loves the care Merlin takes in this, but he loves this too, the wild, unrestrained side of Merlin.
Merlin presses his forehead to Gwaine's and takes a slow breath. He rubs his thumbs over Gwaine's cheekbones and something changes on his face, his whole body. Gwaine loves watching it, loves seeing the control settle over Merlin, a stillness and economy of movement that makes the simplest gestures purposeful.
"How do you want me?" Gwaine asks.
"On your back for now," Merlin says. "We'll see how it goes."
Gwaine turns over obediently and lets Merlin arrange him, low down on the mattress with his feet flat on the bed, legs bent and held apart.
"Comfortable?" Merlin asks. Gwaine nods, and Merlin pats his knee softly. "Good boy."
Gwaine feels anxious to get started, but he waits in silence, looking up at the ceiling while he listens to Merlin padding around the room. He comes back to the bed and knee-walks across it until he's straddling Gwaine's stomach, smiling down at him. Merlin leans down to kiss him, demanding, and Gwaine opens to him easily, letting Merlin do as he wishes.
Merlin makes a noise of satisfaction as he pulls back to look at Gwaine again. "You're in a very good mood, today," he tells Gwaine.
"I am," Gwaine agrees. He pointedly lets his gaze flicker over Merlin's face. "What do I have to be sad about?"
Merlin's smile is blinding before kisses Gwaine again. "You can talk as much as you want, by the way," he says. "Answer me when I ask you something, but between questions too. Anything you want. I feel like hearing your voice."
Gwaine nods and lifts his chin in a wordless plea for another kiss. Merlin indulges him before sliding off Gwaine to curl at his side. "We'll be going slowly," he says, gesturing towards a towel on the desk. It is obviously draped over a range of their toys and suddenly it's clearer why Merlin wanted Gwaine to have the whole evening and night kept free; he means to take his time.
Sure enough, Merlin rolls away, and the first thing he takes from underneath the towel is a cock ring. He eases it on over Gwaine's half-hard cock while Gwaine stares at the ceiling and grits his teeth and tries to think unarousing thoughts.
"There," Merlin says, content. "I want you to come on the big one, not before."
Gwaine nods, already flustered. Merlin lifts two fingers to Gwaine's mouth and Gwaine opens for him promptly, sucking on his fingertips. Merlin hooks his fingers behind Gwaine's teeth and pulls his mouth open, strokes the pads of his fingers over Gwaine's tongue. With Gwaine's legs bent and held apart, it's the easiest thing in the world for Merlin to reach down and rub his wet fingertips over Gwaine's hole. There's no pressure to get inside and Gwaine shifts back and forth anxiously, eager.
The next thing Merlin fetches is a jar of lube and an applicator. There's a wet noise as he fills it and Gwaine bites his lip, then remembers what Merlin said and lets a whine escape. The nozzle is slender, easily breaching Gwaine's touch-softened muscles. The squirt of lube into his channel feels clinical enough to make him shiver as Merlin withdraws the syringe.
"Don't look," Merlin says, gently teasing. "It can be a surprise, hmm?"
Gwaine nods fervently, wanting everything to be utterly in Merlin's hands. "I like surprises."
Merlin's grin is blinding. The first toy is one of Merlin's favourites, a slim, hard vibe not much bigger than a finger. He traces the shuddering tip over Gwaine's inner thighs for a moment, watching him shiver. He briefly switches the vibrations off as he slides the cool shaft into Gwaine. Then it's back on, a constant low thrum that Gwaine can hear and feel all at once, shaking through him.
"Good?" Merlin asks, moving the vibrator in small increments.
"Yes," Gwaine says, his knees falling wider apart, lifting up towards the gentle push. "S'good. Mmm. More."
"Not yet," Merlin tells him. "Slowly, remember?"
Gwaine grits his teeth and nods, his fists tensing and relaxing at his sides. Merlin has his way for a while longer, a flash of more powerful vibration every now and then until he draws it back out. There is another squeeze of lube inside him, unexpected because Gwaine was obediently not looking. The next toy inside him is a plug, still slim but with a flare at the base. It goes in easy and Merlin leaves it in place as he moves up Gwaine's body to kiss him.
"Turn over," Merlin tells him, and Gwaine likes the clumsy, careful way he has to move to get on his hands and knees. Merlin presses his fingers to the base of the plug, nudging it deeper. Gwaine fists his hands in the sheets and is horribly grateful Merlin didn't make any rules about noise.
He starts to withdraw the plug and then pushes it back in at an angle, stretching Gwaine with the base. He does that a few more times, his free hand squeezing Gwaine's thigh.
"How's that?" Merlin asks. "You feeling the stretch yet?"
"Mmm," Gwaine hums, his lip caught between his teeth. "A little."
"A little," Merlin echoes. He slides the plug in to its widest point and circles it in a purposeful stretch that Gwaine definitely feels.
His head drops down between his shoulders and he lets out a tense moan, fingers curling into the sheets. "Yes," he says. "That – god – feeling that."
Merlin reseats the plug all the way in and strokes his palm over Gwaine's arse. He gives Gwaine a quick slap and Gwaine tenses up around the solid intrusion of the plug, another noise knocked out of his throat. Merlin squeezes his hip, strokes a finger down the back of his thigh. Then his finger traces up again, disappears for a second, and when it comes back it's slick, spreading more lube around the rim of Gwaine's hole. Gwaine turns his face into his tense arm, feeling sweat burst in fresh beads along his forehead.
"Do you want to see the next one?" Merlin offers.
"No. No, just do it," Gwaine says.
The plug is removed and Merlin lubes him again, the sensation familiar by now. That done, there's a blunt pressure against his hole for a second, and then a vibration that makes him shout, more in surprise than anything else. The vibration is gone but the pressure remains, the head of the vibe pushing inside. Merlin carries on like that, sliding in an inch or so and then subjecting Gwaine to a burst of slow, pulsing vibrations.
This is the first one that Gwaine's body really protests at. It's not quite as wide as the widest point of the plug, but it is longer, and the insistent vibrations leave him unable to catch his breath. Merlin switches it off eventually, fucks Gwaine with it instead. That's easier than the vibrations and Gwaine rocks back into it a few times. He should know better, really, and sure enough Merlin stops altogether, just holding the base steady.
"Go on, then," he tells Gwaine. "Ride it."
Gwaine pushes up on his hands and rocks back and forth, feeling the unyielding length filling and emptying him as he does so. Merlin stays silent, switching the vibrations on and off at a whim, so Gwaine has no idea what each thrust will feel like until he's in the middle of it.
"Holy fuck," Gwaine groans when Merlin leaves it on a low speed for several complete thrusts, carefully rotating the base in small circles. Gwaine drops to his elbows again, hunching desperately. He's not sure if he wants to get away, or if he wants it deeper, harder, more.
"Fuck, that's it. I want you nice and open for me. When I fuck you with that thing I want it to slide in easy where you're so desperate for it."
Gwaine nods into the pillow, trance-like, splaying his legs as wide as he can.
"But god, when you come on it – " Merlin starts and laughs when Gwaine lets out a shuddery groan. "Yeah, you know it. You felt how hard it was when you were sucking it, right?"
"Yes. Nnn. Yes."
Merlin touches his cock and Gwaine arches back. He's trying not to think about how hard he is, because odds are he's going to fucking cry if he does. Merlin's hand on his hip stills him, and Gwaine can feels his breath heaving in his chest, burning. Merlin hushes him and that's Gwaine's first clue that he's talking, babbling, a string of pleas and promises spilling out of him.
"Alright," Merlin says, soothing. "You're doing so well."
Gwaine lets loose a grateful sob, rubbing his overheated face against the cool sheets.
"So well. I'm so proud of you," Merlin tells him. "We're going to stop for a little while – "
"No! No, I can do it, I promise – "
"Shh, I know you can. Not stop, then. Pause. Is that better?"
It shouldn't make a difference, but it really does. Gwaine nods raggedly.
"Alright. You can have a ten minute break with a larger plug – the blue one – or a five minute break empty."
"Ten," Gwaine answers without thought, and Merlin stays silent, neither approving or disapproving, just waiting. Gwaine forces himself to think. To have his arse left alone for five minutes would be a blessing but it would probably only feel more exquisitely terrible to carry on later. Ten minutes is better, and he repeats with more confidence, "Ten minutes please."
"Alright," Merlin says. He's too quick for Gwaine to register his movements, and his entire consciousness is a blur anyway. Before he can think, he is empty, then slick, then full, then eased down onto a soft mound of pillows. "Alright, then. Ten minutes," Merlin says, his voice coming to Gwaine through the daze. It doesn't sound like much, but Gwaine knows the minutes will crawl past.
"Do you want a drink?" Merlin asks.
"In a bit," Gwaine says. "Don't leave."
"I won't. It's alright. How do you feel?"
"Good," Gwaine affirms.
"Not sore?"
"No," Gwaine says. And he's not, not quite, but he's very aware of his body, of the things Merlin has done to it, and still plans to do.
At some point Merlin brings Gwaine a drink, a cold glass of water with a straw so he doesn't have to think about moving. The ten minutes passes in a haze of kisses and sweet words, and by the end Gwaine feels petted and cosseted and adored.
At the end Merlin says, "Are you okay for a few more minutes? I like this."
Gwaine nods, groans his agreement, because if he didn't love it already, this would have done it, for Merlin to like it, to ask for more... Gwaine stays still and quiet, relishing the feel of Merlin's fingers on his face, his throat.
"You're so good," Merlin says again and he sounds stunned, sounds as blown away and grateful and reverent as Gwaine feels. A while later, Merlin asks him, "Are you comfortable?"
Gwaine nods and Merlin kisses his shoulder, his spine, his ribs. Gwaine has to wonder how much of this pause was for Merlin's benefit. The thought makes him feel tender and strong all at once, and he inches his legs a little further apart for Merlin. Gwaine gets very little warning before Merlin eases the plug out of him, and even less before he's refilled, with the same vibe as before, unless he's much mistaken.
Merlin doesn't use the vibrations this time, doesn't tease. It feels, like the application of the lube through that little nozzle, very clinical and purposeful. Which is not to say that he feels disconnected from Merlin. Far from it. He feels utterly won over by the way Merlin's preparing him, careful and deliberate. Merlin only fucks Gwaine with it for a little while, warming him again after the pause.
Merlin nuzzles at the crease of Gwaine's thigh, nipping at the skin and sucking on a mouthful, painting a bruise onto his skin. Gwaine knows he'll look for that later, twisting in front of the mirror until he can see it.
"Moving on, now," Merlin warns him.
Gwaine nods against the sheets. "Yes. Mmm. Merlin – please."
"Shh, I'm here, I've got you."
"I know," Gwaine says, the words heavy in his throat. "You have, you always – "
As Merlin lubes him again, Gwaine sucks in a few deep breaths, waiting. He doesn't have to wait long. Gwaine knows this one, knows the feel of it. It was, until today, the largest one they had, ridged at the head and with round nubs along the shaft. Gwaine doesn't think he's ever taken it so easily, ever felt his whole body so eager and ready for the intrusion.
Merlin has fucked him brutally with this one in the past, so Gwaine is sort of expecting not to get much warning. And he really doesn't. Merlin instantly starts up a rhythm of quick, shallow thrusts, the ridged head of the dildo dragging over sensitive skin.
"Nnng. Slow down," Gwaine says, and he can barely stand the lust that curls through him at the knowledge that Merlin won't, unless Gwaine uses the right words. Gwaine's played reluctant or unwilling before, but he's never got off on it the way he does with Merlin. It lets him feel the overwhelming nature of it right down to his core. When it's so much that there aren't words for it, he can safely use the only words he can think of.
"Stop. Nnn. God, I can't – "
Merlin won't stop if Gwaine says stop, but he absolutely will stop if he says red. Gwaine's never fully realised how important that knowledge is to both partners before, and it strips away the last little sliver of anxiety. He can do anything, say anything. He can call Merlin Sir or Master, he can beg for mercy, and he can know that it is entirely in Merlin's hands.
Sure enough, Merlin speeds up a little just to be contrary. The bumps along the length of the shaft are pronounced and Gwaine moans weakly as Merlin shifts it, dragging those textured little nubs over the inside of Gwaine's arse.
"Ah, god – "
"I know," Merlin says quietly. "You like that one, don't you?"
Gwaine nods, humming his agreement. His toes curl sharply, his whole body locking up, and a flare of pain shoots through the sole of his foot.
"Ow, ow, ow!"
"Fuck! What?"
"Cramp," Gwaine says. "My fucking foot, shit, ow – "
"Fuck, this would be easier in a sling," Merlin says, rubbing his fingers against the ache in Gwaine's foot. Gwaine's careful as he moves his leg, circles his foot, his chest heaving. The pain – real, unintentional pain – was an unpleasant shock, but Merlin quickly soothes him back down again with slow, easy thrusts of the dildo, keeping it simple.
Gwaine feels soaked with lube, gathering thick and frothy on his thighs where repeated fuckings with various toys have forced it out of him. Merlin has replaced it at such a steady rate that the thrusts feel and sound filthy-wet inside him. He's trying hard not to think of his cock, his aching, neglected cock, trying only to feel it as a heavy ache between his legs.
"How will it feel?" Merlin asks suddenly. "The big one. Tell me."
It's like he knows that Gwaine is fast heading for helplessly inarticulate, and wants as much out of him as possible before then.
"I don't – hard. Impossible. I can always do impossible things when I'm with you," Gwaine admits. He hears Merlin not-quite muffle a groan and feels a surge of pride that he can make Merlin sound that way. "Gonna – I'll – feel it for days," he says, wanting – as ever – to give Merlin more.
"Yes," Merlin says, encouraging.
"Feel it – everywhere."
"Christ – oh god – shh – "
"Sorry," Gwaine says in a small voice.
"No. No, I – " Merlin laughs shakily and tells Gwaine in a tone of teasing reproach, "You almost had me there."
Gwaine moans at the idea. Sometimes he's so lost in this that he forgets Merlin gets physical pleasure from this, from more than just being in control of Gwaine. It's him, the sight of him, his body and his words that do this to Merlin. The pride swells in his chest again, stealing his voice.
"Mmm. I think. Yeah, that's enough of that one," Merlin says, a few minutes later.
Gwaine is struck again by the planning Merlin must have done. The idea of Merlin imagining this, planning how he'd ease Gwaine open, how best to make him want it, is somehow overwhelming. Gwaine's first instinct is to feel unworthy, but if Merlin thinks he's worth it, then he is. Sometimes it's that simple. Gwaine feels empty, shaky, as Merlin eases him over onto his back near the bottom of the bed, knees bent and feet flat again, toes curling into the edge of the mattress.
"Can you take a bit more?" Merlin asks gently, and Gwaine nods. "Alright. One last bit of stretching, and we'll give it a go."
"Yes," Gwaine pants out.
The press against his hole this time is smooth and round, wide straight away. He's still trying to work out what toy it is when his arse closes around the little ball and he realises: beads.
"Next one's a little bigger," Merlin says, already working it inside. It's a new set, Gwaine realises with a flare of trepidation. Heavier than the usual ones, larger too. Merlin gets three of them inside Gwaine, each noticeably larger than the first, before he stops. "Put your legs flat," he says, and Gwaine breaks, sobs as his toes graze the floor, overwhelming pleasure leaving him broken as the beads shift inside him.
"Shh, shh, shh," Merlin tells him, kissing the side of Gwaine's face where a tear has spilled. "It's okay, it's okay, I've got you, you're okay."
Gwaine nods, sniffs a couple of times and tries to steady his breathing. He feels so full, and every tiny movements make the beads shift, knocking together or nudging up against Gwaine's sensitised walls. Merlin smiles at him, brushes Gwaine's hair back from his face and kisses him again, Merlin's mouth lush on his bitten lips.
"Next bit's tricky," Merlin warns him.
Gwaine wipes his hands over his face and looks down to where Merlin is getting to his feet. "Wh – what?"
"I need you to stand up."
Gwaine realises he was expecting that on some level, maybe becoming aware when Merlin had him set his feet on the floor. His breath whines out just at the thought of it.
Merlin, his tone still gentle but with an edge of steel to it now, says, "Come on, Gwaine. Up."
Gwaine does as he's told, feeling like he might just shake right apart. The beads are cunningly designed, each one a ball within a ball so their weight shifts independently, even before he thinks about the effects his changed posture has, that scary, insistent bulk pushing on him from the inside out. He feels raw and new now, every nerve a knife point, like he's something Merlin has created.
"Good," Merlin says, when Gwaine's on his feet, shivering. Merlin backs up with Gwaine's hands still held in his and says, "Come, now. Come to me."
Gwaine shakes his head, frantic.
"You can do it," Merlin says. "It's one step, maybe two. You can do that for me, can't you? One little step?"
"I can't," Gwaine says, but it's a reflex because he can, he is. "Ah. Merlin, Merlin – "
Merlin takes a tiny step backwards, like he's teaching Gwaine to walk. Gwaine matches him, and with each clumsy step he can feel the bead not inside him bumping against his thighs. Merlin keeps hold of his hands though, and doesn't complain when Gwaine only manages a few steps before his legs buckle and he stumbles forward. Merlin's arms go around him, gather him up, and Gwaine presses his face to Merlin's chest. Merlin soothes him, bears him back towards the bed ever so gently.
He turns Gwaine around, eases him back onto the bed, onto his hands and knees. He ignores Gwaine's ragged whine in favour of running his hand up and down Gwaine's thigh. It feels so good, and there's still more to come. Merlin's slow to take the beads out of him, popping each one in and out a couple of times before he removes it. Gwaine just stays in the ungainly sprawl Merlin put him in, hips raised on the same mound of pillows as before, his unseeing eyes riveted on the ceiling. He feels like his blood has been replaced by something far hotter, something intoxicating, putting him more firmly under with each beat of his heart.
"Beautiful," Merlin tells him, his voice one of the only things that could make it through this delicious haze of sensation. The only thing in the world that matters is Merlin, pleasing him and obeying him and giving into him.
"Look at me," Merlin says, and Gwaine does. It takes some doing though, like his body's so accustomed to Merlin's control that exerting his own takes an extra effort of will.
Merlin has the dildo in his hand, the one, the new one, the point of his whole night. "Kiss it," he tells Gwaine, the same way he sometimes does with a paddle or the flogger. Gwaine kisses the head, tongues at the ridged foreskin. "Good. Good boy," he says. His voice has gone rough and ragged, his eyes dark as he pushes it a little deeper into Gwaine's mouth. Gwaine works his tongue against it, sucks it enough to hollow his cheeks before Merlin takes it away.
Merlin lubes him up again with the applicator, then slicks the dildo in turn. Gwaine groans at the way Merlin's hands look on it. His long, slim fingers only accentuate its size. Gwaine would be surprised if they haven't gone through a whole tube of lube already tonight. Now that he's paying attention, his inner thighs feel slick with it. Then there's nothing more to do but wait for Merlin to fill him up.
It takes time. Gwaine fights to relax as much as he can, but it still takes time. Merlin presses it in deep – not all the way though, not yet – and then sets in with shallow thrusts, opening him up. It hurts in the same intoxicating way it hurts to press around the edges of a bruise. He's sure Merlin slicks him again, but he can't scrape his brain together enough to pinpoint individual movements. He feels focused and distracted all at once.
The actual moment of success, of taking the whole thing, is lost on him. He only realises when Merlin groans and says, "Oh god, oh baby, well done. Look at you – Jesus, Gwaine."
The sense of accomplishment floods him then, another rush and then suddenly it's – not easy, never that, but it's slick, a slow smooth slide as Merlin fucks him with the biggest thing that Gwaine has ever, ever taken. It's only when Gwaine throws his arm over his eyes that he realises he's quaking in fine shivers all over his body.
"Be still," Merlin says, and Gwaine remembers what he said earlier, freezes in an instant. "Good boy. Now. I need to take the cock ring off you. I need both hands but I'm going to leave the cock in you. So don't move. And don't you dare come."
Gwaine holds still, Merlin's fingers feeling cool on his prick as he fumbles with the small catch on the ring, freeing him. Gwaine jolts when it's gone, squeezing down harder on the dildo than he's dared to before. The shock of pleasure ripples out through his body and his hand inches towards his cock instinctively.
"No," Merlin says, his voice sharp. Gwaine could weep. "I told you, when you come, I want you to come on this. Just this," he says, nudging the dildo an impossible fraction of an inch deeper. Gwaine throws his arm over his face again, his breath a hot, clawing thing in his throat. He jolts, electrified and practically sobbing when Merlin touches the rim of his hole.
"Please – I can't – please."
Tears – from the sheer vastness of the sensations rocking him – wet his face and Merlin asks gently, "Do you remember your words?"
Gwaine nods, still hidden behind his arm, not trusting his voice.
"Do you need them?"
He shakes his head this time, his whole body shuddering as he breathes in.
"You've done so well," Merlin tells him. "Been so good. I think you deserve to come, don't you?"
"I – " Gwaine says. The truth is he is a little afraid of coming on that thing, the thought of his body clamping down on it, moulding around it. He nods feverishly, anyway.
Merlin draws the dildo back, unerringly precise as he finds Gwaine's prostate, nails it with the head. Gwaine moves, tiny jolts of his hips that feel huge and dangerous. He can't not, though. Merlin is relentless, ceaseless in his treatment of Gwaine. The persistent battering against his prostate is too much, he knows he won't hold out much longer. And when he comes his body will snatch at the hard shaft, eager for more beyond all reason. It will be the kind of pleasure that hurts. It might break him but if it does, Merlin will be there to put him back together.
That final reassuring thought is what does it for Gwaine, relaxes him enough that he stops thinking, stops being aware of anything except the sensation. He screams when he comes, enough that it hurts his throat afterwards. That's nothing to the shocks rippling through him crazily, his body jerking out of his control. His breath turns into a high, whining thing, trapped in his chest even as Merlin hushes him. Merlin's careful enough to make Gwaine's head spin as he eases the dildo out of him. It feels huge on the way out, and Gwaine hears his own breath catch again, a raw, ugly noise. He's stunned at what he's accomplished. For Merlin, with Merlin, thanks to Merlin.
Merlin doesn't move him, just curls around him so Gwaine's held close, Merlin so near that Gwaine inhales him with every breath. It's a long time before he feels like speaking or moving, and Merlin's patient, just keeps Gwaine nestled close, hands moving in that slow, careful way he has afterwards, like he's checking for damage. When Gwaine's breathing has slowed, he still couldn't say that he feels normal. He can feel the physical ache, yes, but he knows that will fade. As so often with Merlin though, he feels altered. Fundamentally, seismically changed.
Merlin picks Gwaine's hand up from where it's still loosely fisted in the sheets. He kisses Gwaine's fingertips, and then his knuckles.
"You take my breath away," Merlin says, quiet and achingly sincere. Gwaine clears his throat, lifts his free hand to wipe over his face as Merlin goes on, "One day, I want to know how it feels to fuck you after I use that on you."
Gwaine is at that delicate stage where it would be all too easy to reinterpret his own pleasure as selfishness and he offers, "You could – "
Merlin just smiles, traces a pattern over Gwaine's chest. "You can do something else for me later. Just relax. You earned it."
Gwaine melts against Merlin, matching his breath to Merlin's and wishing he could match their heartbeats as well. It's a little like coming back from a full-body dead leg. He becomes aware of odd parts of his body and their strange aches – his very fingertips are sore from digging so hard into the mattress, there is an echoing tenderness in his left calf, maybe a hangover from the cramp? Gwaine stays quiet, cataloguing each soreness and trying to calculate how long it will last, how long he will get to feel this way.
"What now?" Gwaine asks a little while later, his throat feeling raw.
Merlin strokes his fingers over Gwaine's jaw. "What would you like?"
Gwaine thinks for a moment. "This is good."
"Then this is what we'll do," Merlin says. "Just this. We can stay in bed all weekend if you'd like."
Gwaine nods. "That does sound good. But – can I suck you later?"
Merlin lifts Gwaine's hand again, kissing his palm this time. "You're utterly insatiable, aren't you?"
"Only when it's you," Gwaine argues.
Merlin just laughs and pulls him in close again, kisses the top of his head. "Later," he promises. Gwaine gingerly wriggles about a little, until he has his face pressed to Merlin's chest.
"God."
Merlin laughs again and brushes Gwaine's hair away from his face. "My thoughts exactly."
He always sounds so happy afterwards; Gwaine loves that. With later a pleasant possibility to keep in mind, Gwaine closes his eyes and relaxes into Merlin's hold. He has no desire to sleep, none to move. Luckily neither is necessary so he just stays, lets himself drift.
Pairing: Merlin/Gwaine
Rating: NC17
Summary: Merlin has a challenge for Gwaine, and Gwaine is more than willing to rise to it.
Content Notes: Established D/s, (so much omg) object insertion/arse play, size kink, a wee bit of consent play, and a vague hint of medical kink.
Notes: Set in the same 'verse as (Safe) Words and A Force When We're Together. Please heed the warnings. If it needs saying, you can rest assured I don't own these characters. Thanks to
marguerite_26 for the beta.Word Count: ~5800
or read here @ a03
When Gwaine gets to Merlin's on Friday evening, Merlin isn't back from work yet. Gwaine lets himself in with his key and waits on the sofa. He's not sure what to expect for the weekend. Merlin had asked him a while ago to find an entirely free weekend, and Gwaine has been wondering why ever since. He takes a very thorough shower and then pulls on his jeans and t-shirt again and pads barefoot to the living room.
He lets himself sprawl on sofa, indulging himself in Merlin's space, the presence that always lingers. He sits up sharply when he hears Merlin's key in the door, a smile tugging at his lips. Merlin calls out a greeting as he walks in, alerted by the soft burbling of the radio in the background.
"Hi," Gwaine says, quickly getting to his feet.
Merlin's face melts into a smile and he holds his arms out to Gwaine. Merlin gives him a sweet kiss, curling his fingers under Gwaine's chin.
"Good day?" Gwaine asks.
"Bearable," Merlin says, kissing Gwaine again before shrugging out of his jacket. "I need to go and take a shower," he says.
Gwaine nods. "Want me to come and scrub your back?"
He's only half joking, and can't help a twinge of regret when Merlin just smiles and tells him, "Another time. I won't be long."
Sure enough, Merlin's back quickly. His hair is curling damply on his neck and he's dressed in soft black trousers and a shirt that Gwaine loves on him. He sits on the sofa with Gwaine and stops him when he goes to move to the floor.
"I got something new for us to play with," Merlin says, and those words feel hard-wired to Gwaine's cock by now.
"What is it?"
Merlin tips his head towards the bedroom. "If you don't want to, just leave it in the box. We'll do something else."
Gwaine grins and leans over to kiss Merlin before he goes. "Sounds interesting."
Merlin curls his fingers into Gwaine's hair and kisses him again. "Mmm. Either way, lose the clothes."
Gwaine laughs delightedly and lets Merlin give him a little push towards the bedroom. The box at the end of the bed is of a familiar, excitingly nondescript type, and Gwaine's quick to undress, folding his clothes and putting them onto the empty shelf in Merlin's wardrobe that they use for such things. There's nothing waiting on the shelf for Gwaine to put on, so he takes up his customary position, kneeling at the foot of the bed before he opens the box.
When he does, his mouth goes dry. It's a dildo, realistically shaped, but so large it looks barely shy of being a joke one. The surface is soft and the tip flexible, but the shaft feels solid enough that Gwaine can feel tremors already, of excitement, of trepidation, of the heady mixture of both. It's bigger than the biggest one they have, bigger by a good inch around, and longer by a few more. The head is flared and the shaft veined, a handgrip at the base. Gwaine gets ahead of himself like always, already imagining the sense of triumph that would come from taking such a thing, the ache, and how heart-stoppingly careful Merlin would be with him afterwards.
He takes it out almost worshipfully, pushing the empty box under the bed and settling in to wait, kneeling at the foot of the bed with the dildo resting on his upturned palms. It takes a little while for Merlin to join him. When he does, he squeezes Gwaine's shoulder on his way past. Gwaine keeps his eyes on the thick pole in his hands.
"You like it, then?" Merlin asks, and Gwaine nods. "Show me."
Gwaine bows his head and mouths at it, at the thick shaft, the carefully moulded veins under his tongue. It's sideways on and he wraps his mouth around as much of it as he can, like a dog with a bone. Merlin makes a noise that sounds pleased, but he's quick to say, "Suck it now."
Gwaine does, the flared head filling his mouth beautifully, the dildo heavy and solid – really solid – on his tongue. He can feel his mouth filling with drool, wetting the slide and lets his eyes close as he takes it deeper, pushing himself. Merlin's fingers on his face stop him with a single touch and he pulls it out, realises how little of it he was able to wet with his mouth, and feels his first real flare of trepidation. The inside of his mouth feels puckered up from the smooth texture. Merlin takes the toy – although it seems absurd to call something so intimidating a toy – and disappears out of Gwaine's eyeline.
When he comes back, he sits on the end of the bed and pats the mattress, guiding Gwaine up to sit next to him. Merlin kisses him once, just quickly, and says, "Now, listen. There will be times when I'll tell you to be still and you must do it. No questions asked, no matter how wound up you are, if I tell you to be still, you can only move to breathe, do you understand?"
Gwaine nods, already slipping under.
"I can tie you up, use a spreader bar," Merlin offers. "But if you're bound, then you're bound from the start."
"No. No, I'll be good," Gwaine promises.
Merlin smiles at him bright and stunning. "I know you will." He kisses Gwaine then, a kiss of raw lust, the type which he won't allow himself again until afterwards. There will be affectionate kisses, demanding kisses, kisses planned to steal Gwaine's breath right when Merlin chooses. But they will all be careful in their own way, based on Merlin's assessment of their needs. Gwaine loves the care Merlin takes in this, but he loves this too, the wild, unrestrained side of Merlin.
Merlin presses his forehead to Gwaine's and takes a slow breath. He rubs his thumbs over Gwaine's cheekbones and something changes on his face, his whole body. Gwaine loves watching it, loves seeing the control settle over Merlin, a stillness and economy of movement that makes the simplest gestures purposeful.
"How do you want me?" Gwaine asks.
"On your back for now," Merlin says. "We'll see how it goes."
Gwaine turns over obediently and lets Merlin arrange him, low down on the mattress with his feet flat on the bed, legs bent and held apart.
"Comfortable?" Merlin asks. Gwaine nods, and Merlin pats his knee softly. "Good boy."
Gwaine feels anxious to get started, but he waits in silence, looking up at the ceiling while he listens to Merlin padding around the room. He comes back to the bed and knee-walks across it until he's straddling Gwaine's stomach, smiling down at him. Merlin leans down to kiss him, demanding, and Gwaine opens to him easily, letting Merlin do as he wishes.
Merlin makes a noise of satisfaction as he pulls back to look at Gwaine again. "You're in a very good mood, today," he tells Gwaine.
"I am," Gwaine agrees. He pointedly lets his gaze flicker over Merlin's face. "What do I have to be sad about?"
Merlin's smile is blinding before kisses Gwaine again. "You can talk as much as you want, by the way," he says. "Answer me when I ask you something, but between questions too. Anything you want. I feel like hearing your voice."
Gwaine nods and lifts his chin in a wordless plea for another kiss. Merlin indulges him before sliding off Gwaine to curl at his side. "We'll be going slowly," he says, gesturing towards a towel on the desk. It is obviously draped over a range of their toys and suddenly it's clearer why Merlin wanted Gwaine to have the whole evening and night kept free; he means to take his time.
Sure enough, Merlin rolls away, and the first thing he takes from underneath the towel is a cock ring. He eases it on over Gwaine's half-hard cock while Gwaine stares at the ceiling and grits his teeth and tries to think unarousing thoughts.
"There," Merlin says, content. "I want you to come on the big one, not before."
Gwaine nods, already flustered. Merlin lifts two fingers to Gwaine's mouth and Gwaine opens for him promptly, sucking on his fingertips. Merlin hooks his fingers behind Gwaine's teeth and pulls his mouth open, strokes the pads of his fingers over Gwaine's tongue. With Gwaine's legs bent and held apart, it's the easiest thing in the world for Merlin to reach down and rub his wet fingertips over Gwaine's hole. There's no pressure to get inside and Gwaine shifts back and forth anxiously, eager.
The next thing Merlin fetches is a jar of lube and an applicator. There's a wet noise as he fills it and Gwaine bites his lip, then remembers what Merlin said and lets a whine escape. The nozzle is slender, easily breaching Gwaine's touch-softened muscles. The squirt of lube into his channel feels clinical enough to make him shiver as Merlin withdraws the syringe.
"Don't look," Merlin says, gently teasing. "It can be a surprise, hmm?"
Gwaine nods fervently, wanting everything to be utterly in Merlin's hands. "I like surprises."
Merlin's grin is blinding. The first toy is one of Merlin's favourites, a slim, hard vibe not much bigger than a finger. He traces the shuddering tip over Gwaine's inner thighs for a moment, watching him shiver. He briefly switches the vibrations off as he slides the cool shaft into Gwaine. Then it's back on, a constant low thrum that Gwaine can hear and feel all at once, shaking through him.
"Good?" Merlin asks, moving the vibrator in small increments.
"Yes," Gwaine says, his knees falling wider apart, lifting up towards the gentle push. "S'good. Mmm. More."
"Not yet," Merlin tells him. "Slowly, remember?"
Gwaine grits his teeth and nods, his fists tensing and relaxing at his sides. Merlin has his way for a while longer, a flash of more powerful vibration every now and then until he draws it back out. There is another squeeze of lube inside him, unexpected because Gwaine was obediently not looking. The next toy inside him is a plug, still slim but with a flare at the base. It goes in easy and Merlin leaves it in place as he moves up Gwaine's body to kiss him.
"Turn over," Merlin tells him, and Gwaine likes the clumsy, careful way he has to move to get on his hands and knees. Merlin presses his fingers to the base of the plug, nudging it deeper. Gwaine fists his hands in the sheets and is horribly grateful Merlin didn't make any rules about noise.
He starts to withdraw the plug and then pushes it back in at an angle, stretching Gwaine with the base. He does that a few more times, his free hand squeezing Gwaine's thigh.
"How's that?" Merlin asks. "You feeling the stretch yet?"
"Mmm," Gwaine hums, his lip caught between his teeth. "A little."
"A little," Merlin echoes. He slides the plug in to its widest point and circles it in a purposeful stretch that Gwaine definitely feels.
His head drops down between his shoulders and he lets out a tense moan, fingers curling into the sheets. "Yes," he says. "That – god – feeling that."
Merlin reseats the plug all the way in and strokes his palm over Gwaine's arse. He gives Gwaine a quick slap and Gwaine tenses up around the solid intrusion of the plug, another noise knocked out of his throat. Merlin squeezes his hip, strokes a finger down the back of his thigh. Then his finger traces up again, disappears for a second, and when it comes back it's slick, spreading more lube around the rim of Gwaine's hole. Gwaine turns his face into his tense arm, feeling sweat burst in fresh beads along his forehead.
"Do you want to see the next one?" Merlin offers.
"No. No, just do it," Gwaine says.
The plug is removed and Merlin lubes him again, the sensation familiar by now. That done, there's a blunt pressure against his hole for a second, and then a vibration that makes him shout, more in surprise than anything else. The vibration is gone but the pressure remains, the head of the vibe pushing inside. Merlin carries on like that, sliding in an inch or so and then subjecting Gwaine to a burst of slow, pulsing vibrations.
This is the first one that Gwaine's body really protests at. It's not quite as wide as the widest point of the plug, but it is longer, and the insistent vibrations leave him unable to catch his breath. Merlin switches it off eventually, fucks Gwaine with it instead. That's easier than the vibrations and Gwaine rocks back into it a few times. He should know better, really, and sure enough Merlin stops altogether, just holding the base steady.
"Go on, then," he tells Gwaine. "Ride it."
Gwaine pushes up on his hands and rocks back and forth, feeling the unyielding length filling and emptying him as he does so. Merlin stays silent, switching the vibrations on and off at a whim, so Gwaine has no idea what each thrust will feel like until he's in the middle of it.
"Holy fuck," Gwaine groans when Merlin leaves it on a low speed for several complete thrusts, carefully rotating the base in small circles. Gwaine drops to his elbows again, hunching desperately. He's not sure if he wants to get away, or if he wants it deeper, harder, more.
"Fuck, that's it. I want you nice and open for me. When I fuck you with that thing I want it to slide in easy where you're so desperate for it."
Gwaine nods into the pillow, trance-like, splaying his legs as wide as he can.
"But god, when you come on it – " Merlin starts and laughs when Gwaine lets out a shuddery groan. "Yeah, you know it. You felt how hard it was when you were sucking it, right?"
"Yes. Nnn. Yes."
Merlin touches his cock and Gwaine arches back. He's trying not to think about how hard he is, because odds are he's going to fucking cry if he does. Merlin's hand on his hip stills him, and Gwaine can feels his breath heaving in his chest, burning. Merlin hushes him and that's Gwaine's first clue that he's talking, babbling, a string of pleas and promises spilling out of him.
"Alright," Merlin says, soothing. "You're doing so well."
Gwaine lets loose a grateful sob, rubbing his overheated face against the cool sheets.
"So well. I'm so proud of you," Merlin tells him. "We're going to stop for a little while – "
"No! No, I can do it, I promise – "
"Shh, I know you can. Not stop, then. Pause. Is that better?"
It shouldn't make a difference, but it really does. Gwaine nods raggedly.
"Alright. You can have a ten minute break with a larger plug – the blue one – or a five minute break empty."
"Ten," Gwaine answers without thought, and Merlin stays silent, neither approving or disapproving, just waiting. Gwaine forces himself to think. To have his arse left alone for five minutes would be a blessing but it would probably only feel more exquisitely terrible to carry on later. Ten minutes is better, and he repeats with more confidence, "Ten minutes please."
"Alright," Merlin says. He's too quick for Gwaine to register his movements, and his entire consciousness is a blur anyway. Before he can think, he is empty, then slick, then full, then eased down onto a soft mound of pillows. "Alright, then. Ten minutes," Merlin says, his voice coming to Gwaine through the daze. It doesn't sound like much, but Gwaine knows the minutes will crawl past.
"Do you want a drink?" Merlin asks.
"In a bit," Gwaine says. "Don't leave."
"I won't. It's alright. How do you feel?"
"Good," Gwaine affirms.
"Not sore?"
"No," Gwaine says. And he's not, not quite, but he's very aware of his body, of the things Merlin has done to it, and still plans to do.
At some point Merlin brings Gwaine a drink, a cold glass of water with a straw so he doesn't have to think about moving. The ten minutes passes in a haze of kisses and sweet words, and by the end Gwaine feels petted and cosseted and adored.
At the end Merlin says, "Are you okay for a few more minutes? I like this."
Gwaine nods, groans his agreement, because if he didn't love it already, this would have done it, for Merlin to like it, to ask for more... Gwaine stays still and quiet, relishing the feel of Merlin's fingers on his face, his throat.
"You're so good," Merlin says again and he sounds stunned, sounds as blown away and grateful and reverent as Gwaine feels. A while later, Merlin asks him, "Are you comfortable?"
Gwaine nods and Merlin kisses his shoulder, his spine, his ribs. Gwaine has to wonder how much of this pause was for Merlin's benefit. The thought makes him feel tender and strong all at once, and he inches his legs a little further apart for Merlin. Gwaine gets very little warning before Merlin eases the plug out of him, and even less before he's refilled, with the same vibe as before, unless he's much mistaken.
Merlin doesn't use the vibrations this time, doesn't tease. It feels, like the application of the lube through that little nozzle, very clinical and purposeful. Which is not to say that he feels disconnected from Merlin. Far from it. He feels utterly won over by the way Merlin's preparing him, careful and deliberate. Merlin only fucks Gwaine with it for a little while, warming him again after the pause.
Merlin nuzzles at the crease of Gwaine's thigh, nipping at the skin and sucking on a mouthful, painting a bruise onto his skin. Gwaine knows he'll look for that later, twisting in front of the mirror until he can see it.
"Moving on, now," Merlin warns him.
Gwaine nods against the sheets. "Yes. Mmm. Merlin – please."
"Shh, I'm here, I've got you."
"I know," Gwaine says, the words heavy in his throat. "You have, you always – "
As Merlin lubes him again, Gwaine sucks in a few deep breaths, waiting. He doesn't have to wait long. Gwaine knows this one, knows the feel of it. It was, until today, the largest one they had, ridged at the head and with round nubs along the shaft. Gwaine doesn't think he's ever taken it so easily, ever felt his whole body so eager and ready for the intrusion.
Merlin has fucked him brutally with this one in the past, so Gwaine is sort of expecting not to get much warning. And he really doesn't. Merlin instantly starts up a rhythm of quick, shallow thrusts, the ridged head of the dildo dragging over sensitive skin.
"Nnng. Slow down," Gwaine says, and he can barely stand the lust that curls through him at the knowledge that Merlin won't, unless Gwaine uses the right words. Gwaine's played reluctant or unwilling before, but he's never got off on it the way he does with Merlin. It lets him feel the overwhelming nature of it right down to his core. When it's so much that there aren't words for it, he can safely use the only words he can think of.
"Stop. Nnn. God, I can't – "
Merlin won't stop if Gwaine says stop, but he absolutely will stop if he says red. Gwaine's never fully realised how important that knowledge is to both partners before, and it strips away the last little sliver of anxiety. He can do anything, say anything. He can call Merlin Sir or Master, he can beg for mercy, and he can know that it is entirely in Merlin's hands.
Sure enough, Merlin speeds up a little just to be contrary. The bumps along the length of the shaft are pronounced and Gwaine moans weakly as Merlin shifts it, dragging those textured little nubs over the inside of Gwaine's arse.
"Ah, god – "
"I know," Merlin says quietly. "You like that one, don't you?"
Gwaine nods, humming his agreement. His toes curl sharply, his whole body locking up, and a flare of pain shoots through the sole of his foot.
"Ow, ow, ow!"
"Fuck! What?"
"Cramp," Gwaine says. "My fucking foot, shit, ow – "
"Fuck, this would be easier in a sling," Merlin says, rubbing his fingers against the ache in Gwaine's foot. Gwaine's careful as he moves his leg, circles his foot, his chest heaving. The pain – real, unintentional pain – was an unpleasant shock, but Merlin quickly soothes him back down again with slow, easy thrusts of the dildo, keeping it simple.
Gwaine feels soaked with lube, gathering thick and frothy on his thighs where repeated fuckings with various toys have forced it out of him. Merlin has replaced it at such a steady rate that the thrusts feel and sound filthy-wet inside him. He's trying hard not to think of his cock, his aching, neglected cock, trying only to feel it as a heavy ache between his legs.
"How will it feel?" Merlin asks suddenly. "The big one. Tell me."
It's like he knows that Gwaine is fast heading for helplessly inarticulate, and wants as much out of him as possible before then.
"I don't – hard. Impossible. I can always do impossible things when I'm with you," Gwaine admits. He hears Merlin not-quite muffle a groan and feels a surge of pride that he can make Merlin sound that way. "Gonna – I'll – feel it for days," he says, wanting – as ever – to give Merlin more.
"Yes," Merlin says, encouraging.
"Feel it – everywhere."
"Christ – oh god – shh – "
"Sorry," Gwaine says in a small voice.
"No. No, I – " Merlin laughs shakily and tells Gwaine in a tone of teasing reproach, "You almost had me there."
Gwaine moans at the idea. Sometimes he's so lost in this that he forgets Merlin gets physical pleasure from this, from more than just being in control of Gwaine. It's him, the sight of him, his body and his words that do this to Merlin. The pride swells in his chest again, stealing his voice.
"Mmm. I think. Yeah, that's enough of that one," Merlin says, a few minutes later.
Gwaine is struck again by the planning Merlin must have done. The idea of Merlin imagining this, planning how he'd ease Gwaine open, how best to make him want it, is somehow overwhelming. Gwaine's first instinct is to feel unworthy, but if Merlin thinks he's worth it, then he is. Sometimes it's that simple. Gwaine feels empty, shaky, as Merlin eases him over onto his back near the bottom of the bed, knees bent and feet flat again, toes curling into the edge of the mattress.
"Can you take a bit more?" Merlin asks gently, and Gwaine nods. "Alright. One last bit of stretching, and we'll give it a go."
"Yes," Gwaine pants out.
The press against his hole this time is smooth and round, wide straight away. He's still trying to work out what toy it is when his arse closes around the little ball and he realises: beads.
"Next one's a little bigger," Merlin says, already working it inside. It's a new set, Gwaine realises with a flare of trepidation. Heavier than the usual ones, larger too. Merlin gets three of them inside Gwaine, each noticeably larger than the first, before he stops. "Put your legs flat," he says, and Gwaine breaks, sobs as his toes graze the floor, overwhelming pleasure leaving him broken as the beads shift inside him.
"Shh, shh, shh," Merlin tells him, kissing the side of Gwaine's face where a tear has spilled. "It's okay, it's okay, I've got you, you're okay."
Gwaine nods, sniffs a couple of times and tries to steady his breathing. He feels so full, and every tiny movements make the beads shift, knocking together or nudging up against Gwaine's sensitised walls. Merlin smiles at him, brushes Gwaine's hair back from his face and kisses him again, Merlin's mouth lush on his bitten lips.
"Next bit's tricky," Merlin warns him.
Gwaine wipes his hands over his face and looks down to where Merlin is getting to his feet. "Wh – what?"
"I need you to stand up."
Gwaine realises he was expecting that on some level, maybe becoming aware when Merlin had him set his feet on the floor. His breath whines out just at the thought of it.
Merlin, his tone still gentle but with an edge of steel to it now, says, "Come on, Gwaine. Up."
Gwaine does as he's told, feeling like he might just shake right apart. The beads are cunningly designed, each one a ball within a ball so their weight shifts independently, even before he thinks about the effects his changed posture has, that scary, insistent bulk pushing on him from the inside out. He feels raw and new now, every nerve a knife point, like he's something Merlin has created.
"Good," Merlin says, when Gwaine's on his feet, shivering. Merlin backs up with Gwaine's hands still held in his and says, "Come, now. Come to me."
Gwaine shakes his head, frantic.
"You can do it," Merlin says. "It's one step, maybe two. You can do that for me, can't you? One little step?"
"I can't," Gwaine says, but it's a reflex because he can, he is. "Ah. Merlin, Merlin – "
Merlin takes a tiny step backwards, like he's teaching Gwaine to walk. Gwaine matches him, and with each clumsy step he can feel the bead not inside him bumping against his thighs. Merlin keeps hold of his hands though, and doesn't complain when Gwaine only manages a few steps before his legs buckle and he stumbles forward. Merlin's arms go around him, gather him up, and Gwaine presses his face to Merlin's chest. Merlin soothes him, bears him back towards the bed ever so gently.
He turns Gwaine around, eases him back onto the bed, onto his hands and knees. He ignores Gwaine's ragged whine in favour of running his hand up and down Gwaine's thigh. It feels so good, and there's still more to come. Merlin's slow to take the beads out of him, popping each one in and out a couple of times before he removes it. Gwaine just stays in the ungainly sprawl Merlin put him in, hips raised on the same mound of pillows as before, his unseeing eyes riveted on the ceiling. He feels like his blood has been replaced by something far hotter, something intoxicating, putting him more firmly under with each beat of his heart.
"Beautiful," Merlin tells him, his voice one of the only things that could make it through this delicious haze of sensation. The only thing in the world that matters is Merlin, pleasing him and obeying him and giving into him.
"Look at me," Merlin says, and Gwaine does. It takes some doing though, like his body's so accustomed to Merlin's control that exerting his own takes an extra effort of will.
Merlin has the dildo in his hand, the one, the new one, the point of his whole night. "Kiss it," he tells Gwaine, the same way he sometimes does with a paddle or the flogger. Gwaine kisses the head, tongues at the ridged foreskin. "Good. Good boy," he says. His voice has gone rough and ragged, his eyes dark as he pushes it a little deeper into Gwaine's mouth. Gwaine works his tongue against it, sucks it enough to hollow his cheeks before Merlin takes it away.
Merlin lubes him up again with the applicator, then slicks the dildo in turn. Gwaine groans at the way Merlin's hands look on it. His long, slim fingers only accentuate its size. Gwaine would be surprised if they haven't gone through a whole tube of lube already tonight. Now that he's paying attention, his inner thighs feel slick with it. Then there's nothing more to do but wait for Merlin to fill him up.
It takes time. Gwaine fights to relax as much as he can, but it still takes time. Merlin presses it in deep – not all the way though, not yet – and then sets in with shallow thrusts, opening him up. It hurts in the same intoxicating way it hurts to press around the edges of a bruise. He's sure Merlin slicks him again, but he can't scrape his brain together enough to pinpoint individual movements. He feels focused and distracted all at once.
The actual moment of success, of taking the whole thing, is lost on him. He only realises when Merlin groans and says, "Oh god, oh baby, well done. Look at you – Jesus, Gwaine."
The sense of accomplishment floods him then, another rush and then suddenly it's – not easy, never that, but it's slick, a slow smooth slide as Merlin fucks him with the biggest thing that Gwaine has ever, ever taken. It's only when Gwaine throws his arm over his eyes that he realises he's quaking in fine shivers all over his body.
"Be still," Merlin says, and Gwaine remembers what he said earlier, freezes in an instant. "Good boy. Now. I need to take the cock ring off you. I need both hands but I'm going to leave the cock in you. So don't move. And don't you dare come."
Gwaine holds still, Merlin's fingers feeling cool on his prick as he fumbles with the small catch on the ring, freeing him. Gwaine jolts when it's gone, squeezing down harder on the dildo than he's dared to before. The shock of pleasure ripples out through his body and his hand inches towards his cock instinctively.
"No," Merlin says, his voice sharp. Gwaine could weep. "I told you, when you come, I want you to come on this. Just this," he says, nudging the dildo an impossible fraction of an inch deeper. Gwaine throws his arm over his face again, his breath a hot, clawing thing in his throat. He jolts, electrified and practically sobbing when Merlin touches the rim of his hole.
"Please – I can't – please."
Tears – from the sheer vastness of the sensations rocking him – wet his face and Merlin asks gently, "Do you remember your words?"
Gwaine nods, still hidden behind his arm, not trusting his voice.
"Do you need them?"
He shakes his head this time, his whole body shuddering as he breathes in.
"You've done so well," Merlin tells him. "Been so good. I think you deserve to come, don't you?"
"I – " Gwaine says. The truth is he is a little afraid of coming on that thing, the thought of his body clamping down on it, moulding around it. He nods feverishly, anyway.
Merlin draws the dildo back, unerringly precise as he finds Gwaine's prostate, nails it with the head. Gwaine moves, tiny jolts of his hips that feel huge and dangerous. He can't not, though. Merlin is relentless, ceaseless in his treatment of Gwaine. The persistent battering against his prostate is too much, he knows he won't hold out much longer. And when he comes his body will snatch at the hard shaft, eager for more beyond all reason. It will be the kind of pleasure that hurts. It might break him but if it does, Merlin will be there to put him back together.
That final reassuring thought is what does it for Gwaine, relaxes him enough that he stops thinking, stops being aware of anything except the sensation. He screams when he comes, enough that it hurts his throat afterwards. That's nothing to the shocks rippling through him crazily, his body jerking out of his control. His breath turns into a high, whining thing, trapped in his chest even as Merlin hushes him. Merlin's careful enough to make Gwaine's head spin as he eases the dildo out of him. It feels huge on the way out, and Gwaine hears his own breath catch again, a raw, ugly noise. He's stunned at what he's accomplished. For Merlin, with Merlin, thanks to Merlin.
Merlin doesn't move him, just curls around him so Gwaine's held close, Merlin so near that Gwaine inhales him with every breath. It's a long time before he feels like speaking or moving, and Merlin's patient, just keeps Gwaine nestled close, hands moving in that slow, careful way he has afterwards, like he's checking for damage. When Gwaine's breathing has slowed, he still couldn't say that he feels normal. He can feel the physical ache, yes, but he knows that will fade. As so often with Merlin though, he feels altered. Fundamentally, seismically changed.
Merlin picks Gwaine's hand up from where it's still loosely fisted in the sheets. He kisses Gwaine's fingertips, and then his knuckles.
"You take my breath away," Merlin says, quiet and achingly sincere. Gwaine clears his throat, lifts his free hand to wipe over his face as Merlin goes on, "One day, I want to know how it feels to fuck you after I use that on you."
Gwaine is at that delicate stage where it would be all too easy to reinterpret his own pleasure as selfishness and he offers, "You could – "
Merlin just smiles, traces a pattern over Gwaine's chest. "You can do something else for me later. Just relax. You earned it."
Gwaine melts against Merlin, matching his breath to Merlin's and wishing he could match their heartbeats as well. It's a little like coming back from a full-body dead leg. He becomes aware of odd parts of his body and their strange aches – his very fingertips are sore from digging so hard into the mattress, there is an echoing tenderness in his left calf, maybe a hangover from the cramp? Gwaine stays quiet, cataloguing each soreness and trying to calculate how long it will last, how long he will get to feel this way.
"What now?" Gwaine asks a little while later, his throat feeling raw.
Merlin strokes his fingers over Gwaine's jaw. "What would you like?"
Gwaine thinks for a moment. "This is good."
"Then this is what we'll do," Merlin says. "Just this. We can stay in bed all weekend if you'd like."
Gwaine nods. "That does sound good. But – can I suck you later?"
Merlin lifts Gwaine's hand again, kissing his palm this time. "You're utterly insatiable, aren't you?"
"Only when it's you," Gwaine argues.
Merlin just laughs and pulls him in close again, kisses the top of his head. "Later," he promises. Gwaine gingerly wriggles about a little, until he has his face pressed to Merlin's chest.
"God."
Merlin laughs again and brushes Gwaine's hair away from his face. "My thoughts exactly."
He always sounds so happy afterwards; Gwaine loves that. With later a pleasant possibility to keep in mind, Gwaine closes his eyes and relaxes into Merlin's hold. He has no desire to sleep, none to move. Luckily neither is necessary so he just stays, lets himself drift.
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Date: 2012-04-14 05:42 pm (UTC)READING NAAAAAAAAAAAAO commenting in capslock when i can reread and gush appropriately x
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Date: 2012-04-14 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-14 06:26 pm (UTC)I don't know how you made Gwaine taking an enormous fake cock swoon-worthy, but you absolutely did! ♥
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Date: 2012-04-14 06:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-14 09:08 pm (UTC)Gorgeous ♥.
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Date: 2012-04-14 09:55 pm (UTC)Wow,the trust was so beautifully given. This totally hit all my buttons.
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Date: 2012-04-14 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-15 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-15 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-15 03:09 am (UTC)bebes, hot like a very hot thing.
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Date: 2012-04-15 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-17 01:55 am (UTC)I also very much appreciated this line:
Gwaine is at that delicate stage where it would be all too easy to reinterpret his own pleasure as selfishness
That delicate stage is definitely recognizable, but I don't think I've ever seen it articulated quite this clearly before. Thanks for that. :)
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Date: 2012-04-18 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-18 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-22 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-22 03:51 pm (UTC)He's stunned at what he's accomplished. For Merlin, with Merlin, thanks to Merlin.
As so often with Merlin though, he feels altered. Fundamentally, seismically changed.
the best. Holy shit, you're AMAZING. this was amazing. thank you for the read <3 <3