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leashy_bebesTitle: Many Precious Things [chapter 7][wip]
Pairing: Teddy/James
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: HP characters etc are not mine. Title is from an Elvis Costello song, When It Sings, and that's not mine either.
Words: 11k [this part]
CLICK HERE to read from the start.
James loves the Christmas season. Always has, always will. He doesn't see what's not to love about no school, presents, tacky decorations, and a ridiculous excess of food. He even likes the inevitable madness of the whole family coming together. He especially likes that it means Teddy is round a lot, usually every day for at least a couple of hours. In fact, the only thing James doesn't like about Christmas is how quickly it passes.
It's a few days into the holiday by the time he notices - something is not right with Teddy. He's been even quieter than usual, but James has mostly put that down to the fact that he's not great with crowds of people, even crowds of people who love him. It's just one more thing for James to like about Teddy, the way he holds part of himself (the crazy, smart-mouthed, fun-loving part) back for the people he's closest to.
Before long though, he starts to think it's more than just Teddy being Teddy. A few times over the last week or so, he's caught Teddy staring into space, and at first he thinks it's just boredom, or maybe Teddy's thinking about his parents. He's not sure what it is that makes him certain that it's neither of those things. He's starting to think that Teddy has a secret, an idea that is cemented when he finds himself alone with Dad in the kitchen for five minutes a couple of days before Christmas eve. In the run-up to Christmas there are always relatives in and out of the house, and James's trip to the kitchen has a dual purpose - a Butterbeer run, and five minutes away from screaming kids.
"What's going on with Teddy?" Dad asks.
"Huh? How should I know?" James asks, pausing in the act of reaching for bottles of Butterbeer.
"You two are as thick as thieves," Dad points out.
"Yeah," James sighs. "I don't know. He is acting funny though, isn't he?"
"He's a bit quiet," Dad agrees. "Even for Teddy."
"Yeah," James says again.
"Maybe he's got a new boyfriend," Dad suggests.
"Oh," James says quietly, not having thought of that. "He'd have told me," he says. "I think."
"Yeah? I suppose he'll tell us whatever it is when he's ready."
"I suppose," James agrees. "Maybe I'll - "
And then James's littlest cousin, Molly, bursts into the room, giggling wildly, closely followed by Teddy himself.
"Hi," Teddy grins, before grabbing Molly around the waist. She shrieks as Teddy throws her gently into the air and catches her again before sitting her on a clear space on the kitchen table. "Molly was wondering if James can come out to play."
"Of course he can," Dad says jokingly. "As long as he wears his gloves."
"Dad!" James laughs, nudging Teddy away to tickle Molly. "What do you want to play, short-stuff?"
"Quidditch!" Molly yells gleefully.
"Been spending too much time with Lily," James says gravely.
Even Lily isn't up for a game though, claiming to be too full of sweets. In the end Teddy charms a ball of wool into a slow-flying snitch and they head out into the garden, watching Molly fly about at around three feet off the ground on one of Lily's old child-sized brooms. Teddy goes quiet again, apart from cheering Molly on, and James gives him a narrow glance before looking away again.
"You alright?" he asks a while later.
"Hmm? Yeah, fine. We should head in soon, it's getting cold."
"Molly!" James yells and she comes to a halt.
"Yeah?"
"You cold, sweetheart?"
"A bit," she admits, and James fires a gentle warming charm at her. "Thanks!" she calls back, chasing after the makeshift snitch again.
"Easy enough if you remember you're a wizard," James teases, and Teddy laughs, looking away from James, who frowns. No matter what else is going on, they always talk when it's just the two of them, and now Teddy will barely look at him? Still, if Teddy doesn't want to talk, James isn't going to whine at him to do so.
He grabs a broom from the shed instead and takes Molly for a proper ride. He doesn't go too high or too fast, but she loves it all the same. James laughs at her giggles, one arm wrapped tight around her. As he does a slightly sharp turn, he spots Teddy watching them closely.
"Oi!" he yells. "I'm not going to crash, you know?"
"Better not," Teddy nods, before looking away again.
'What the fuck?' James thinks, and barely manages not to say.
It goes on like that for the rest of the day, and by the time evening rolls around, James is well and truly pissed off.
"I need to get going," Teddy says, as other people are leaving, and James looks at him in surprise. It's rare for Teddy to leave at the same time as everyone else; he almost always stays for a while afterwards, like he used to when they were kids. Teddy obviously catches the look because he continues, "Still got some presents to wrap."
Well. That's unlikely, because Teddy is usually hyper-organised when it comes to stuff like that, and it's that more than anything else which prompts James to corner Teddy before he leaves. He follows Teddy out into the hallway when he goes to collect his coat, and clears his throat significantly. Teddy looks over his shoulder, and there is something wrong about the way his face tightens at the sight of James.
"Alright, look," James says abruptly, his voice a little sharper than he'd intended. But damn it, this is horrible, and he is so used to having frank conversations with Teddy that he doesn't think superficial small-talk suits them at all. "Did I do something?"
"What?" Teddy asks, sounding honestly taken aback, glancing over James's shoulder to the closed living room door.
"You - you're acting different," James says and there's a split second where Teddy's eyes widen as though he's been caught out doing something wrong.
"Sorry," is all he says for a moment, and then he visibly shakes himself before offering James a smile. "I didn't mean to."
"Alright," James says almost warily. "So...you're okay?"
"I'm fine. Really."
"And I haven't done anything to annoy you?"
"James," Teddy says, looking a bit pained. "No. Not at all. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. I just - I've had some stuff on my mind, not really got into the festive spirit yet."
"Anything you need to talk about?" James asks, confused when Teddy laughs.
"No," he says quickly. "No. Thanks, though."
"Alright. Well if you change your mind..."
"Yeah," Teddy nods. "Listen, I'm going to the Manor with Gran tomorrow, but I'll be round the day after, and I promise I'll have snapped out of it by then."
"Teddy..." James says warily, not all that reassured.
"I promise," Teddy interrupts. "See you soon, okay?"
"Okay," James says, and Teddy gives him a hasty, one-armed hug, and James watches Teddy leave with a frown on his face.
***
True to his word, Teddy is different when he next shows up, more like his usual self, and James is reassured enough that he mostly stops thinking about it. Still, it's not as though whatever was bothering Teddy has gone away overnight and James can't help keeping an eye on Teddy. In all honesty, he usually has at least one eye on Teddy because there's usually no one and nothing in the room that he'd rather look at, but this is different. This time it's more like he's watching out for Teddy in the same way Teddy has always watched out for him.
And no matter what Teddy says, by the time Boxing Day comes around, James knows that Teddy's weird mood is something to do with him. Maybe he hasn't done anything to offend Teddy, but something is different between them. It's only really around James that Teddy clams up. Usually the exact opposite is true, and once or twice James almost starts wondering if...if...
Well. If James was asked to think situation in which someone clams up and glances away when they're caught looking at another person, he knows what would be top of his list. But that's not possible, obviously. Teddy would never want...him, so James pushes the thought aside as best as he can and tries to just be grateful for the fact that Teddy is acting, if not completely, then at least mostly normal.
Teddy's even staying the night on Boxing Day. James can't remember a year when that hasn't happened, and the normality of it is familiar and comforting. Dad had stayed up late with them but now it is just James and Teddy, the wireless on softly in the background as they talk. James isn't sure what time it is, but Dad had been cursing the lateness of the hour when he finally turned in, and that was a while ago, now. The wireless is only playing music, with no talking in between, and the gaps around the edges of the curtains show only pure black outside.
"Good Christmas?" Teddy asks.
"Brilliant," James nods. "I got an owl from Jack this morning. Hasn't had a single headache since you got him that charm."
"That's good," Teddy nods. "You got the potion sorted, then?"
"Yeah. This great bloke I know got me this excellent Potions kit, so..."
Teddy laughs. "Glad it's coming in handy."
"I told you," James says. "Best present ever."
"Draco said I should owl him when you need to restock some of the rarer stuff, so just let me know."
"That was nice of him," James remarks.
"He's got some good contacts," Teddy shrugs. "Oh, hey," he says, as though his memory's been jogged. "You should have seen the Christmas tree at the Manor."
"Yeah?"
"They've got this massive entrance hall, staircases up around the wall, you know, just open space? It's stories high, anyway, and the tree goes on for...I don't even know how far."
"Wow. Magic?"
"Yeah, Scorpius was showing me some of the charms he used."
"That's cute," James laughs. "Two Ravenclaws bonding over spellwork. Why am I not surprised?"
"Shut up!" Teddy protests laughingly, fidgeting in his chair, pulling his knees almost up to his chin before stretching his legs out again.
"Are you tired?" James asks.
"Not really," Teddy shrugs. "Just can't get settled," he adds, stretching in the arm chair, throwing his long legs out in front of him. James can't help watching him through lazy, half closed eyes, and his heart pounds loudly in his throat when Teddy's stretch reveals a sliver of pale skin between his jeans and his jumper.
"M'not tired either," James says happily, shoving one arm behind his head and stretching out a little more on the sofa, hanging his legs over the far arm. Teddy looks at him curiously. "What?" James demands.
"Comfortable?" Teddy asks.
"Very, actually," James grins and Teddy laughs softly. "What?" James asks again.
"Nothing, I'd just love to see you try to stand upright in a hurry from there, that's all," Teddy jokes.
"It's the Christmas hols," James points out. "I'm going nowhere in a hurry."
"You ready for your N.E.W.Ts?" Teddy asks, and James shoots him a scandalised look.
"I repeat: holidays. We don't talk about that."
"Oh, right, my apologies," Teddy says wryly. "What a gaffe."
"Gaffe indeed," James nods. "But yes, I'm mostly ready."
Teddy stretches again and rubs his hand over the back of his neck, and James finds that he absolutely cannot look away. To cover his discomfiture, James says,
"D'you want some sweets?"
"Ooh, yeah. Have you got any ice-mice?"
"Probably," James nods. "If not, I'm sure Al's got a secret stash we could raid."
"Brilliant," Teddy says.
James wriggles upright and finds Teddy watching him with that same almost-infuriating, half-amused, completely fucking gorgeous smile he always has. James can't help himself and blushes a bit at the thought, hoping that it will just seem like he's been rolling around trying to right himself from a truly ridiculous position.
"Okay, that was more awkward than I'd expected," James acknowledges, and Teddy smiles at him quietly. He leans his head back against the back of the chair, and for a second James thinks his eyes are closed. Then, as he walks past Teddy to get to the kitchen, James notices that his eyes are in fact open a tiny fraction, and he's tracking James's progress across the room. There have been too many of these little moments recently, and James is almost starting to believe that he's not going crazy; maybe Teddy really does look at him a little bit covetously from beneath his lowered eyelashes in those private moments when it seems like they are the only two people on the planet.
As soon as he judges himself out of sight, James runs both hands through his hair and takes a few deep breaths. This is getting to be too much. He'd thought it was awkward when he was a stupid kid with a stupid crush, but now, well, now. Now maybe Teddy looks at him too, maybe watches him too. James bites his lower lip in thought as he wanders into the kitchen. Well, he's not a Gryffindor for nothing. He's meant to be foolhardy and brave and reckless and -
When he flicks on the kitchen light and glances out of the window, all other thoughts are immediately driven from his head and he bounds back to the living room, perching himself on the arm of Teddy's chair. It's not until he does it that he realises how close together that puts them, and then all he can do to save face is wriggle backwards a bit.
"Teddy!"
"Mmm?" Teddy asks. "Sweets?"
"No, come outside!" James says excitedly.
"Outside? No! It's stupid o'clock in the morning, it'll be freezing."
"I know! It's snowing!"
Teddy groans and throws his head back. James has a brief moment of difficulty before he manages to drag his eyes away from the long, pale column of Teddy's throat.
"I don't – "
"First snow of the year, Teddy, come on!" James insists.
"It snowed in January," Teddy points out.
"You know what I mean, smart arse. Come on, pleeeeease?"
"Oh dear. Gone back to five years old, have we?"
"No we have not," James sniffs. "But apparently you're about fifty now. It's snowing, doesn't that excite you even a tiny little bit?"
James glares at Teddy as a grin finally breaks over his face.
"Arse," he grumbles.
"Sorry, Jamie. It's just too easy."
"What is?"
"Winding you up," Teddy grins, getting to his feet and hauling James up after him. "C'mon," he says. "Let's go and play."
James heads straight for the back door but Teddy pulls him backwards by the scruff of his neck.
"Jacket?" he suggests. "Scarf?"
"Oh, right!" James nods, diverting to the cupboard. He grabs his own scarf and winds it around his neck. He finds Al's scarf hanging up and is desperately tempted to loop it around Teddy's neck himself. And then he could tug on it and Teddy would - oh good God, he has to stop thinking about this! James tosses the scarf towards Teddy instead and he plucks it out of the air, doubling it up and knotting it around his neck.
"Come on, then," Teddy says, heading into the kitchen and grabbing his coat from where it's draped over the back of a chair. James follows him out, digging a pair of gloves out of his pocket and struggling to get into his own jacket, because he's left the sleeves inside out, as usual.
Outside, James rushes forward onto the grass and tilts his head back to the sky. Teddy stays on the doorstep, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He folds his arms over his chest and looks at James, face quirked in amusement.
"You do realise that this is not what any normal person would consider snow," he says.
"White stuff. Cold. Falling from the sky," James points out.
"Yeah but not enough to actually do anything with. Hang on."
Teddy pulls out his wand and points it upwards, muttering an incantation James doesn't quite catch and moving it in a complicated pattern. Looking upward expectantly, it's only a few moments before James notices that the flakes dotting icy kisses onto his face are larger, and falling more thickly.
"Cool!" James says, looking over at Teddy, who is also looking at the snow. James has a niggling feeling that if he'd looked a scant second earlier, Teddy's eyes would have been on him instead. "This is even better than Aunt Hermione's snow!"
"Thanks," Teddy grins. "Me and Ian worked it out a while ago. Most snow spells just make what's already there larger, but you lose the structure, so it's usually no good for snowballing or anything much beyond looking nice. This one works on a layer of air about twenty feet up, alters the arrangement of the individual molecules in each flake before it's completely finished forming."
"Er...what?" James blinks, feeling and probably sounding like an idiot.
"I don't completely understand it either. Ian came up with the theory from his mad Muggle physics stuff, I just followed orders."
"Oh, well," James grins, oddly relieved. He catches Teddy's eyes for a second and notices vaguely that Teddy has snow caught in his eyelashes, and how can something so simple be so ridiculously sexy? James can feel his heart pounding in his throat and he turns away deliberately, looking up through the snow and trying to calm down. It was bad enough when James was younger and would get so tongue-tied and hopeless around Teddy. Now though, he's old enough to have realised that this is much more than a stupid teenage crush. Alright, maybe Teddy is absolutely bloody gorgeous - well actually, there's no maybe involved as far as James is concerned. But he's also funny and kind, and he makes James's head spin just by being himself.
James would hesitate to use the L-word, but he feels so strange around Teddy. He is constantly a little bit on edge, abuzz with nervous anticipation borne of a constant awareness of Teddy, along with some mad need to be much more aware than usual of his own behaviour. James doesn't get nervous as rule, and hates it whenever it does occur, and so he supposes he should hate feeling this way about Teddy. He doesn't, though, can't bring himself to hate such a good feeling. Because underneath the nerves and the anxiety, he is so happy just to be near Teddy, to make him laugh, to hear what he thinks of things - anything at all, it doesn't matter. James often thinks that Teddy is his favourite person in the whole world. There's no one he trusts or admires more, and no one who knows him better.
Of course, when James was younger, he had hated it, had even resented Teddy a bit for being so ridiculously desirable. That had been when he still thought of Teddy as almost a brother, though, when even the idea of thinking about Teddy that way had seemed so wrong. James isn't sure quite when that changed, when Teddy became something more like a best friend than a brother. And yet that still doesn't feel quite right, that simple appellation of best friend, because Jack is his best friend, and while yes, there was that unfortunate thing for six months or so, even in the depths of his crush on Jack, James's stomach had never tied itself in such knots, and he'd never felt worried that his smile would split his face in half.
"Hey, James," Teddy calls softly, pulling James out of his reverie. He turns his head to look at Teddy over one shoulder and receives a snowball in the face for his troubles.
"You git!" he splutters, wiping snow out of his eyes. By the time he can see again, Teddy is hefting another perfectly made snowball in his hand. He pitches it hard towards James but it only catches him on the side as he turns and sprints off into the darkness of the garden.
As he crouches down in the shelter of some bushes, James fights a losing battle with himself not to laugh and give away his position. Still, he can hear an occasional snort of laughter from Teddy so he supposes it doesn't matter. As fast as he can, James starts assembling a stash of snowballs, trying not to think that Teddy is probably using his bloody Charms super-powers to make himself a set of Potter-seeking missiles. When James has a decent stash of snowballs he casts a levitation charm on the pile and ducks out into the open. He can just make out Teddy as a blur beyond the snowflakes and ducks down, running forward as quietly as he can, snowballs bobbing along at his elbow.
He thinks he's managed to sneak up on Teddy but at the last second he rounds on James, hurling two snowballs in quick succession. One hits James right in the middle of his forehead, while the other bursts against his scarf, icy cold splashes prickling at his throat. Spluttering a bit, James dodges off to one side, plucks a snowball from his pile and launches it towards Teddy. It hits his hair, showering half his face with crystalline white. Teddy retaliates quickly and ferociously, and as the third snowball hits him in the face, James decides to abandon fighting fair. With a quick wave of his wand, he sends the remains of his arsenal zooming towards Teddy in one huge snowy lump.
The effect is brilliant, but James has to admit that it was a bit of an all-or-nothing tactic, because once Teddy has brushed and coughed and spluttered the snow away, he still has a decent stash of missiles, and James is empty handed. Sure enough, once Teddy has recovered, he flicks his wand at the remaining snowballs, which start zooming at James one by one.
"No - Ah - You - Fuck!" James shouts, hardly able to get the words out through his laughter.
"Shhh," Teddy laughs. "Keep your voice down. You'll wake everyone."
"You keep hitting me in the face," James protests.
"Merlin forbid," Teddy laughs. "Not the face."
"Exactly!" James smiles.
"In that case..." Teddy says, gently plucking a snowball from the diminishing stash and hefting it in one hand. Instinct takes over and before James can think he's diving at Teddy, sending them both tumbling into the snow before James drops a handful of loose snow into Teddy's face.
"Ahh! No, get off!" Teddy laughs, trying to squirm away.
"No," James says through laughter of his own. He sinks down, his forehead resting on Teddy's chest. "I win. Say I win."
"You're such a - " Teddy makes a mock growling noise and James tries not to shiver because God, that sound! "Alright," Teddy says, suddenly going completely still. "Alright. You win, James," he says sweetly, just before shoving a handful of snow down the back of James's coat, under his shirt. James can't help the thoroughly un-manly yelp he lets out, although he's not sure whether that's from the shock of the cold, or from Teddy's fingers drawing idle patterns in the melting snow on the nape of James's neck for a split second, or from the way his chest is shaking underneath James with his laughter.
"Ugh! Bastard!" James says, wriggling his shoulders and arching his shoulders in a vain attempt to get rid of the snow. Instead, he settles for dropping another handful of snow onto Teddy's face before rolling off him to lie at his side on the ground.
Teddy blows a hard breath outwards and a little cloud of snow floats up before settling back down on his skin.
"That was fun," Teddy says after a long moment, sending little puffs of breath into the air as he talks.
"Uh huh," James says, sending his own breath upwards.
"You're fun," Teddy says quietly and James blinks up at the night sky, licks his lips and wonders how brave he really is.
"You're not completely dull either," he says, because apparently he isn't even a bit brave. Damn it.
"High praise," Teddy laughs. "Shall we go in and warm up?"
"I suppose so," James says, but really it's the last thing he wants to do. His gloves are probably going to freeze solid before much longer, and the cold is starting to seep through his whole body from his back, but he can feel Teddy's arm and leg pressed against his, can hear and see him breathing into the icy air, and he feels like he could just stay there all night.
"Come on, then," Teddy says, pushing himself upright and reaching a hand down to help James to his feet.
CONTINUED HERE
Pairing: Teddy/James
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: HP characters etc are not mine. Title is from an Elvis Costello song, When It Sings, and that's not mine either.
Words: 11k [this part]
CLICK HERE to read from the start.
James loves the Christmas season. Always has, always will. He doesn't see what's not to love about no school, presents, tacky decorations, and a ridiculous excess of food. He even likes the inevitable madness of the whole family coming together. He especially likes that it means Teddy is round a lot, usually every day for at least a couple of hours. In fact, the only thing James doesn't like about Christmas is how quickly it passes.
It's a few days into the holiday by the time he notices - something is not right with Teddy. He's been even quieter than usual, but James has mostly put that down to the fact that he's not great with crowds of people, even crowds of people who love him. It's just one more thing for James to like about Teddy, the way he holds part of himself (the crazy, smart-mouthed, fun-loving part) back for the people he's closest to.
Before long though, he starts to think it's more than just Teddy being Teddy. A few times over the last week or so, he's caught Teddy staring into space, and at first he thinks it's just boredom, or maybe Teddy's thinking about his parents. He's not sure what it is that makes him certain that it's neither of those things. He's starting to think that Teddy has a secret, an idea that is cemented when he finds himself alone with Dad in the kitchen for five minutes a couple of days before Christmas eve. In the run-up to Christmas there are always relatives in and out of the house, and James's trip to the kitchen has a dual purpose - a Butterbeer run, and five minutes away from screaming kids.
"What's going on with Teddy?" Dad asks.
"Huh? How should I know?" James asks, pausing in the act of reaching for bottles of Butterbeer.
"You two are as thick as thieves," Dad points out.
"Yeah," James sighs. "I don't know. He is acting funny though, isn't he?"
"He's a bit quiet," Dad agrees. "Even for Teddy."
"Yeah," James says again.
"Maybe he's got a new boyfriend," Dad suggests.
"Oh," James says quietly, not having thought of that. "He'd have told me," he says. "I think."
"Yeah? I suppose he'll tell us whatever it is when he's ready."
"I suppose," James agrees. "Maybe I'll - "
And then James's littlest cousin, Molly, bursts into the room, giggling wildly, closely followed by Teddy himself.
"Hi," Teddy grins, before grabbing Molly around the waist. She shrieks as Teddy throws her gently into the air and catches her again before sitting her on a clear space on the kitchen table. "Molly was wondering if James can come out to play."
"Of course he can," Dad says jokingly. "As long as he wears his gloves."
"Dad!" James laughs, nudging Teddy away to tickle Molly. "What do you want to play, short-stuff?"
"Quidditch!" Molly yells gleefully.
"Been spending too much time with Lily," James says gravely.
Even Lily isn't up for a game though, claiming to be too full of sweets. In the end Teddy charms a ball of wool into a slow-flying snitch and they head out into the garden, watching Molly fly about at around three feet off the ground on one of Lily's old child-sized brooms. Teddy goes quiet again, apart from cheering Molly on, and James gives him a narrow glance before looking away again.
"You alright?" he asks a while later.
"Hmm? Yeah, fine. We should head in soon, it's getting cold."
"Molly!" James yells and she comes to a halt.
"Yeah?"
"You cold, sweetheart?"
"A bit," she admits, and James fires a gentle warming charm at her. "Thanks!" she calls back, chasing after the makeshift snitch again.
"Easy enough if you remember you're a wizard," James teases, and Teddy laughs, looking away from James, who frowns. No matter what else is going on, they always talk when it's just the two of them, and now Teddy will barely look at him? Still, if Teddy doesn't want to talk, James isn't going to whine at him to do so.
He grabs a broom from the shed instead and takes Molly for a proper ride. He doesn't go too high or too fast, but she loves it all the same. James laughs at her giggles, one arm wrapped tight around her. As he does a slightly sharp turn, he spots Teddy watching them closely.
"Oi!" he yells. "I'm not going to crash, you know?"
"Better not," Teddy nods, before looking away again.
'What the fuck?' James thinks, and barely manages not to say.
It goes on like that for the rest of the day, and by the time evening rolls around, James is well and truly pissed off.
"I need to get going," Teddy says, as other people are leaving, and James looks at him in surprise. It's rare for Teddy to leave at the same time as everyone else; he almost always stays for a while afterwards, like he used to when they were kids. Teddy obviously catches the look because he continues, "Still got some presents to wrap."
Well. That's unlikely, because Teddy is usually hyper-organised when it comes to stuff like that, and it's that more than anything else which prompts James to corner Teddy before he leaves. He follows Teddy out into the hallway when he goes to collect his coat, and clears his throat significantly. Teddy looks over his shoulder, and there is something wrong about the way his face tightens at the sight of James.
"Alright, look," James says abruptly, his voice a little sharper than he'd intended. But damn it, this is horrible, and he is so used to having frank conversations with Teddy that he doesn't think superficial small-talk suits them at all. "Did I do something?"
"What?" Teddy asks, sounding honestly taken aback, glancing over James's shoulder to the closed living room door.
"You - you're acting different," James says and there's a split second where Teddy's eyes widen as though he's been caught out doing something wrong.
"Sorry," is all he says for a moment, and then he visibly shakes himself before offering James a smile. "I didn't mean to."
"Alright," James says almost warily. "So...you're okay?"
"I'm fine. Really."
"And I haven't done anything to annoy you?"
"James," Teddy says, looking a bit pained. "No. Not at all. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. I just - I've had some stuff on my mind, not really got into the festive spirit yet."
"Anything you need to talk about?" James asks, confused when Teddy laughs.
"No," he says quickly. "No. Thanks, though."
"Alright. Well if you change your mind..."
"Yeah," Teddy nods. "Listen, I'm going to the Manor with Gran tomorrow, but I'll be round the day after, and I promise I'll have snapped out of it by then."
"Teddy..." James says warily, not all that reassured.
"I promise," Teddy interrupts. "See you soon, okay?"
"Okay," James says, and Teddy gives him a hasty, one-armed hug, and James watches Teddy leave with a frown on his face.
***
True to his word, Teddy is different when he next shows up, more like his usual self, and James is reassured enough that he mostly stops thinking about it. Still, it's not as though whatever was bothering Teddy has gone away overnight and James can't help keeping an eye on Teddy. In all honesty, he usually has at least one eye on Teddy because there's usually no one and nothing in the room that he'd rather look at, but this is different. This time it's more like he's watching out for Teddy in the same way Teddy has always watched out for him.
And no matter what Teddy says, by the time Boxing Day comes around, James knows that Teddy's weird mood is something to do with him. Maybe he hasn't done anything to offend Teddy, but something is different between them. It's only really around James that Teddy clams up. Usually the exact opposite is true, and once or twice James almost starts wondering if...if...
Well. If James was asked to think situation in which someone clams up and glances away when they're caught looking at another person, he knows what would be top of his list. But that's not possible, obviously. Teddy would never want...him, so James pushes the thought aside as best as he can and tries to just be grateful for the fact that Teddy is acting, if not completely, then at least mostly normal.
Teddy's even staying the night on Boxing Day. James can't remember a year when that hasn't happened, and the normality of it is familiar and comforting. Dad had stayed up late with them but now it is just James and Teddy, the wireless on softly in the background as they talk. James isn't sure what time it is, but Dad had been cursing the lateness of the hour when he finally turned in, and that was a while ago, now. The wireless is only playing music, with no talking in between, and the gaps around the edges of the curtains show only pure black outside.
"Good Christmas?" Teddy asks.
"Brilliant," James nods. "I got an owl from Jack this morning. Hasn't had a single headache since you got him that charm."
"That's good," Teddy nods. "You got the potion sorted, then?"
"Yeah. This great bloke I know got me this excellent Potions kit, so..."
Teddy laughs. "Glad it's coming in handy."
"I told you," James says. "Best present ever."
"Draco said I should owl him when you need to restock some of the rarer stuff, so just let me know."
"That was nice of him," James remarks.
"He's got some good contacts," Teddy shrugs. "Oh, hey," he says, as though his memory's been jogged. "You should have seen the Christmas tree at the Manor."
"Yeah?"
"They've got this massive entrance hall, staircases up around the wall, you know, just open space? It's stories high, anyway, and the tree goes on for...I don't even know how far."
"Wow. Magic?"
"Yeah, Scorpius was showing me some of the charms he used."
"That's cute," James laughs. "Two Ravenclaws bonding over spellwork. Why am I not surprised?"
"Shut up!" Teddy protests laughingly, fidgeting in his chair, pulling his knees almost up to his chin before stretching his legs out again.
"Are you tired?" James asks.
"Not really," Teddy shrugs. "Just can't get settled," he adds, stretching in the arm chair, throwing his long legs out in front of him. James can't help watching him through lazy, half closed eyes, and his heart pounds loudly in his throat when Teddy's stretch reveals a sliver of pale skin between his jeans and his jumper.
"M'not tired either," James says happily, shoving one arm behind his head and stretching out a little more on the sofa, hanging his legs over the far arm. Teddy looks at him curiously. "What?" James demands.
"Comfortable?" Teddy asks.
"Very, actually," James grins and Teddy laughs softly. "What?" James asks again.
"Nothing, I'd just love to see you try to stand upright in a hurry from there, that's all," Teddy jokes.
"It's the Christmas hols," James points out. "I'm going nowhere in a hurry."
"You ready for your N.E.W.Ts?" Teddy asks, and James shoots him a scandalised look.
"I repeat: holidays. We don't talk about that."
"Oh, right, my apologies," Teddy says wryly. "What a gaffe."
"Gaffe indeed," James nods. "But yes, I'm mostly ready."
Teddy stretches again and rubs his hand over the back of his neck, and James finds that he absolutely cannot look away. To cover his discomfiture, James says,
"D'you want some sweets?"
"Ooh, yeah. Have you got any ice-mice?"
"Probably," James nods. "If not, I'm sure Al's got a secret stash we could raid."
"Brilliant," Teddy says.
James wriggles upright and finds Teddy watching him with that same almost-infuriating, half-amused, completely fucking gorgeous smile he always has. James can't help himself and blushes a bit at the thought, hoping that it will just seem like he's been rolling around trying to right himself from a truly ridiculous position.
"Okay, that was more awkward than I'd expected," James acknowledges, and Teddy smiles at him quietly. He leans his head back against the back of the chair, and for a second James thinks his eyes are closed. Then, as he walks past Teddy to get to the kitchen, James notices that his eyes are in fact open a tiny fraction, and he's tracking James's progress across the room. There have been too many of these little moments recently, and James is almost starting to believe that he's not going crazy; maybe Teddy really does look at him a little bit covetously from beneath his lowered eyelashes in those private moments when it seems like they are the only two people on the planet.
As soon as he judges himself out of sight, James runs both hands through his hair and takes a few deep breaths. This is getting to be too much. He'd thought it was awkward when he was a stupid kid with a stupid crush, but now, well, now. Now maybe Teddy looks at him too, maybe watches him too. James bites his lower lip in thought as he wanders into the kitchen. Well, he's not a Gryffindor for nothing. He's meant to be foolhardy and brave and reckless and -
When he flicks on the kitchen light and glances out of the window, all other thoughts are immediately driven from his head and he bounds back to the living room, perching himself on the arm of Teddy's chair. It's not until he does it that he realises how close together that puts them, and then all he can do to save face is wriggle backwards a bit.
"Teddy!"
"Mmm?" Teddy asks. "Sweets?"
"No, come outside!" James says excitedly.
"Outside? No! It's stupid o'clock in the morning, it'll be freezing."
"I know! It's snowing!"
Teddy groans and throws his head back. James has a brief moment of difficulty before he manages to drag his eyes away from the long, pale column of Teddy's throat.
"I don't – "
"First snow of the year, Teddy, come on!" James insists.
"It snowed in January," Teddy points out.
"You know what I mean, smart arse. Come on, pleeeeease?"
"Oh dear. Gone back to five years old, have we?"
"No we have not," James sniffs. "But apparently you're about fifty now. It's snowing, doesn't that excite you even a tiny little bit?"
James glares at Teddy as a grin finally breaks over his face.
"Arse," he grumbles.
"Sorry, Jamie. It's just too easy."
"What is?"
"Winding you up," Teddy grins, getting to his feet and hauling James up after him. "C'mon," he says. "Let's go and play."
James heads straight for the back door but Teddy pulls him backwards by the scruff of his neck.
"Jacket?" he suggests. "Scarf?"
"Oh, right!" James nods, diverting to the cupboard. He grabs his own scarf and winds it around his neck. He finds Al's scarf hanging up and is desperately tempted to loop it around Teddy's neck himself. And then he could tug on it and Teddy would - oh good God, he has to stop thinking about this! James tosses the scarf towards Teddy instead and he plucks it out of the air, doubling it up and knotting it around his neck.
"Come on, then," Teddy says, heading into the kitchen and grabbing his coat from where it's draped over the back of a chair. James follows him out, digging a pair of gloves out of his pocket and struggling to get into his own jacket, because he's left the sleeves inside out, as usual.
Outside, James rushes forward onto the grass and tilts his head back to the sky. Teddy stays on the doorstep, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He folds his arms over his chest and looks at James, face quirked in amusement.
"You do realise that this is not what any normal person would consider snow," he says.
"White stuff. Cold. Falling from the sky," James points out.
"Yeah but not enough to actually do anything with. Hang on."
Teddy pulls out his wand and points it upwards, muttering an incantation James doesn't quite catch and moving it in a complicated pattern. Looking upward expectantly, it's only a few moments before James notices that the flakes dotting icy kisses onto his face are larger, and falling more thickly.
"Cool!" James says, looking over at Teddy, who is also looking at the snow. James has a niggling feeling that if he'd looked a scant second earlier, Teddy's eyes would have been on him instead. "This is even better than Aunt Hermione's snow!"
"Thanks," Teddy grins. "Me and Ian worked it out a while ago. Most snow spells just make what's already there larger, but you lose the structure, so it's usually no good for snowballing or anything much beyond looking nice. This one works on a layer of air about twenty feet up, alters the arrangement of the individual molecules in each flake before it's completely finished forming."
"Er...what?" James blinks, feeling and probably sounding like an idiot.
"I don't completely understand it either. Ian came up with the theory from his mad Muggle physics stuff, I just followed orders."
"Oh, well," James grins, oddly relieved. He catches Teddy's eyes for a second and notices vaguely that Teddy has snow caught in his eyelashes, and how can something so simple be so ridiculously sexy? James can feel his heart pounding in his throat and he turns away deliberately, looking up through the snow and trying to calm down. It was bad enough when James was younger and would get so tongue-tied and hopeless around Teddy. Now though, he's old enough to have realised that this is much more than a stupid teenage crush. Alright, maybe Teddy is absolutely bloody gorgeous - well actually, there's no maybe involved as far as James is concerned. But he's also funny and kind, and he makes James's head spin just by being himself.
James would hesitate to use the L-word, but he feels so strange around Teddy. He is constantly a little bit on edge, abuzz with nervous anticipation borne of a constant awareness of Teddy, along with some mad need to be much more aware than usual of his own behaviour. James doesn't get nervous as rule, and hates it whenever it does occur, and so he supposes he should hate feeling this way about Teddy. He doesn't, though, can't bring himself to hate such a good feeling. Because underneath the nerves and the anxiety, he is so happy just to be near Teddy, to make him laugh, to hear what he thinks of things - anything at all, it doesn't matter. James often thinks that Teddy is his favourite person in the whole world. There's no one he trusts or admires more, and no one who knows him better.
Of course, when James was younger, he had hated it, had even resented Teddy a bit for being so ridiculously desirable. That had been when he still thought of Teddy as almost a brother, though, when even the idea of thinking about Teddy that way had seemed so wrong. James isn't sure quite when that changed, when Teddy became something more like a best friend than a brother. And yet that still doesn't feel quite right, that simple appellation of best friend, because Jack is his best friend, and while yes, there was that unfortunate thing for six months or so, even in the depths of his crush on Jack, James's stomach had never tied itself in such knots, and he'd never felt worried that his smile would split his face in half.
"Hey, James," Teddy calls softly, pulling James out of his reverie. He turns his head to look at Teddy over one shoulder and receives a snowball in the face for his troubles.
"You git!" he splutters, wiping snow out of his eyes. By the time he can see again, Teddy is hefting another perfectly made snowball in his hand. He pitches it hard towards James but it only catches him on the side as he turns and sprints off into the darkness of the garden.
As he crouches down in the shelter of some bushes, James fights a losing battle with himself not to laugh and give away his position. Still, he can hear an occasional snort of laughter from Teddy so he supposes it doesn't matter. As fast as he can, James starts assembling a stash of snowballs, trying not to think that Teddy is probably using his bloody Charms super-powers to make himself a set of Potter-seeking missiles. When James has a decent stash of snowballs he casts a levitation charm on the pile and ducks out into the open. He can just make out Teddy as a blur beyond the snowflakes and ducks down, running forward as quietly as he can, snowballs bobbing along at his elbow.
He thinks he's managed to sneak up on Teddy but at the last second he rounds on James, hurling two snowballs in quick succession. One hits James right in the middle of his forehead, while the other bursts against his scarf, icy cold splashes prickling at his throat. Spluttering a bit, James dodges off to one side, plucks a snowball from his pile and launches it towards Teddy. It hits his hair, showering half his face with crystalline white. Teddy retaliates quickly and ferociously, and as the third snowball hits him in the face, James decides to abandon fighting fair. With a quick wave of his wand, he sends the remains of his arsenal zooming towards Teddy in one huge snowy lump.
The effect is brilliant, but James has to admit that it was a bit of an all-or-nothing tactic, because once Teddy has brushed and coughed and spluttered the snow away, he still has a decent stash of missiles, and James is empty handed. Sure enough, once Teddy has recovered, he flicks his wand at the remaining snowballs, which start zooming at James one by one.
"No - Ah - You - Fuck!" James shouts, hardly able to get the words out through his laughter.
"Shhh," Teddy laughs. "Keep your voice down. You'll wake everyone."
"You keep hitting me in the face," James protests.
"Merlin forbid," Teddy laughs. "Not the face."
"Exactly!" James smiles.
"In that case..." Teddy says, gently plucking a snowball from the diminishing stash and hefting it in one hand. Instinct takes over and before James can think he's diving at Teddy, sending them both tumbling into the snow before James drops a handful of loose snow into Teddy's face.
"Ahh! No, get off!" Teddy laughs, trying to squirm away.
"No," James says through laughter of his own. He sinks down, his forehead resting on Teddy's chest. "I win. Say I win."
"You're such a - " Teddy makes a mock growling noise and James tries not to shiver because God, that sound! "Alright," Teddy says, suddenly going completely still. "Alright. You win, James," he says sweetly, just before shoving a handful of snow down the back of James's coat, under his shirt. James can't help the thoroughly un-manly yelp he lets out, although he's not sure whether that's from the shock of the cold, or from Teddy's fingers drawing idle patterns in the melting snow on the nape of James's neck for a split second, or from the way his chest is shaking underneath James with his laughter.
"Ugh! Bastard!" James says, wriggling his shoulders and arching his shoulders in a vain attempt to get rid of the snow. Instead, he settles for dropping another handful of snow onto Teddy's face before rolling off him to lie at his side on the ground.
Teddy blows a hard breath outwards and a little cloud of snow floats up before settling back down on his skin.
"That was fun," Teddy says after a long moment, sending little puffs of breath into the air as he talks.
"Uh huh," James says, sending his own breath upwards.
"You're fun," Teddy says quietly and James blinks up at the night sky, licks his lips and wonders how brave he really is.
"You're not completely dull either," he says, because apparently he isn't even a bit brave. Damn it.
"High praise," Teddy laughs. "Shall we go in and warm up?"
"I suppose so," James says, but really it's the last thing he wants to do. His gloves are probably going to freeze solid before much longer, and the cold is starting to seep through his whole body from his back, but he can feel Teddy's arm and leg pressed against his, can hear and see him breathing into the icy air, and he feels like he could just stay there all night.
"Come on, then," Teddy says, pushing himself upright and reaching a hand down to help James to his feet.
CONTINUED HERE
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-09-01 06:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-03 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-01 07:37 pm (UTC)Also OMG this is totally making my "first day of grad school I am terrified out of my mind" day so much better.
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Date: 2009-09-02 10:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-01 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-03 08:51 am (UTC)True confessions: I done fucked up the html. Second half of the chapter is here
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Date: 2009-09-02 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-03 08:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-02 12:58 pm (UTC)They are too adorable. Thanks <3
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Date: 2009-09-03 08:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-02 09:03 pm (UTC)I was thinking about this before whilst reading but forgot to put it in my annoying review.
"What the cheese is going on between Scorpius and Albus??!?!?!?!"
*vomits* Please dont tell me AS/S, please dont tell me, nonononoo..
After I've read your Scorp/James I cant STAND AS/S..besides theyre too cliche. The next gen of Harry/Draco which is hella improbable.
Harry: "I hate your guts, Malfoy."
Draco: "Shag me."
Harry: "I--What?"
Draco: "You know you wanted to ever since Moody turned me into a ferret."
Harry: *slams him against wall and snarls* "What makes you think that?"
Draco: *proceeds to have wall!shex*
SOOOO *puke* LOL if J.K. Rowling ever got wind of that..but then again, Scorp/James is improbable too, BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE IT LESS SEXY..and its not cliched at all. Its hot.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-03 08:54 am (UTC)