leashy_bebes | FIC: The Reoccurring Kind (1/1)

The Reoccurring Kind
Remus/Sirius
G (wth?)
~700 words, set just pre-OotP.
Title and lyrics at the start are from Bright Eyes' You Will (etcetc I can't be bothered with the full title).
I own nothing that you recognise.

You said you would be my dream. I could have you every night
and if, by morning, I'd forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be all right
'cause you are the reoccurring kind.
You are the reoccurring kind.
You never really leave my mind.
Are you the love of my lifetime? 'Cause there's been times I had my doubts.
We were just kids when I first kissed you in the attic of my parents house,
and I wish we were there now.

"Hi," Sirius says, standing up from his position halfway up the stairs.

"Hello, you," Remus smiles, hanging his cloak from a hook before going to stand in front of Sirius two steps down and hug him gently. "You didn't have to wait up for me."

"I wanted to," Sirius shrugs. "Where've you been?"

"I can't say," Remus says, with his heart pounding, because it was that kind of question, and that kind of answer, that ruined things the first time.

"Alright," Sirius shrugs, and relief floods through Remus. It feels too fragile sometimes, too unlikely that he should have Sirius back in his life and in his arms after all these years of nothing, and sometimes Remus is terrified that one wrong word, one wrong look, even, will set them back.

"To bed?" he suggests.

"To bed," Sirius agrees, holding out his hand. Remus takes hold of it and lets himself be led up the stairs, past portraits and heirlooms that have escaped Sirius' enthusiastic and sometimes violent renovations.

In bed, Sirius huddles close, resting his head on Remus' chest. His fingers drift lightly over the angle of Remus' hip and he tilts his head a little to kiss the skin under his cheek.

"Are you alright?" Remus asks, curling his fingers into Sirius' hair.

"Yes," Sirius says promptly. "I was thinking a lot while you were gone. I mean - don't get me wrong, I'd sooner burn this place to the ground than live in it, but... Harry'll be here soon. And you - for whatever mad, masochistic reason, you're here too."

"Sirius, I love you. That's not mad."

"Debatable."

"Hush."

"Whatever the reason," Sirius says after a little while, "I feel like I might get a second chance to be happy right where I was miserable for years. And that made me realise that you - you're the one common factor in the times when I haven't been miserable."

"I – " Remus says, and then stops to swallow down the lump that's formed in his throat. "You too, for the record. I feel like I haven't been breathing properly for the last thirteen years. I love you so much."

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hm. More than I ever thought I'd love anyone."

There is a long pause, and Remus cranes his neck to look down at Sirius.

"I can hear you thinking," he tells him, and Sirius laughs, drumming his fingers against Remus' ribs in acknowledgement.

"Did - did you love anyone else?" Sirius asks, and Remus bites his lip, not sure how to answer that question.

"Not properly," he says finally, because that's the closest he can come to describing the few flings he's had over the years. He might have cared for a couple of those people, and in a world where he had never known real love, those relationships might have seemed like love to him. But he had always known, somehow, in some way, that no one and nothing would come close to that passion and perfection he and Sirius had shared for far too few years.

"Good," Sirius says promptly, and Remus laughs. "I don't mean – I didn't – "

"I know what you meant," Remus assures him, twirling a lock of hair around one finger. "Tell you a secret?"

"I love secrets," Sirius says with a smile, looking up at Remus, and Remus feels his heart swell with adoration for the bright grin and sparkling eyes turned towards him.

"I don't want to love anyone else this way," he says. "Not ever. I never have."

"If I was a better man," Sirius says slowly after a while, "I'd say that you should have tried."

"Maybe," Remus shrugs. "But then what kind of mess would we be in now, eh?"

"Oh, don't," Sirius protests laughingly. "I'd have had to come and steal you away."

"You wouldn't have to try too hard," Remus assures him.

"Good to know," Sirius murmurs sleepily. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

"I'm glad I'm here. With you."

"I am infinitely glad for that, Padfoot."

Remus feels Sirius' lips curve into a smile against his chest and they release unintentionally synchronised sighs before laughing at each other

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

remuslives23.livejournal.com

Sigh!

So sweet. I loved this:

"I don't want to love anyone else this way," he says. "Not ever. I never have."
"If I was a better man," Sirius says slowly after a while, "I'd say that you should have tried."

Just glorious!

From:

doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid loneliness

FIC: The Reoccurring Kind (1/1)

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