FIC: Some Things [1/1]
Aug. 20th, 2008 08:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leashy_bebesTitle: Some Things (1/1)
Author: Lyds
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Basically a, 'what if', AU type thing. It can become AU from pretty much any time before they start fighting in the first war, but in my head, the background for this is that James, not Sirius, sent Snape to the shack. It doesn't come up though, so whatever floats your boat.
Notes: I maintain that if the puppies had watched more mafia films, the whole mess could have been averted. Because the one who brings you the message is always the rat - so to speak - right? Right!
Disclaimer: JKR’s, not mine.
Words: About 2000
My mind is racing. Unless Remus has lied to me, which I don’t consider even for an instant, then Peter is lying to me now. Well, not lying as such. Misleading me. Confusing me. Well, trying to confuse me. It's rare that Peter can get anything by me, but war is so much more baffling than I had realised. Especially where spying is concerned. Naïve little me, I’d imagined pitched battles with hooded Death Eaters. Instead, it's this mess, this mire.
Although I try to trust all of my friends, Remus is the only one I really take at face value. Three weeks after we started working fulltime for The Order, Remus was briefly captured. I’ve got no legal status as Remus’ next of kin, and had no idea where he was, had been frantic for two days and nights until Remus stumbled home, battered and bruised, but still alive, still perfect. We’d talked and argued and talked some more, and finally agreed to tell each other everything. We’d both had the same objections to the idea, but had sort of talked each other round, and Remus had come out with one of his strange Muggle phrases about being hung for a sheep, and we’d agreed on everything.
Everything.
So we told each other about every assignment, every rumour, every piece of classified information. The only rule is that we don’t try to talk each other out of any missions. As far as I know, Remus hasn't seen Snape since school, and now Peter was saying he'd seen them talking in Knockturn Alley last week. More to the point, I know that Remus was in Bristol last week.
Abruptly, stupidly, I have an image of Remus at a fancy dress party a few years ago. He'd been drunk and giggly, wonderfully affectionate. In his - to my mind at least - ridiculously sexy gangster suit, with a hat tipped down over one eye, and a bright yellow muggle water pistol stuck in his belt, he'd clung to me and called me a doity rat in a horrible Brooklyn accent, laughing against my neck.
A rat, for crying out loud!
All this runs through my head in an instant and I suppose that's one positive side effect of trying to follow who's on whose side all the time - you think fast.
"Fucking bastard!" I spit, supposedly about Remus, and now I know to look, I can see a muted version of the old, familiar look of greedy excitement at a plot going right in Peter's eyes. "Fuck, Wormtail, what're we going to do?"
"I don't know," he says, gnawing on his bottom lip.
Remus said Dumbledore had sent him to Bristol. If so... If so... I need to get home. Tell Remus. Go to Dumbledore. Get proof. Get Peter. Fuck. Peter. Friendly, loyal, nervous little Peter, with his sudden absences, and the recent glimmers of inexplicable confidence in his eyes.
"Fuck, how could he?" I ask, covering my face with my hands and breathing deeply. It's taking a lot to do what I know I must, and not just strike Peter down right here and now.
"Are you alright?" he asks, and has the guts to rest a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"No," I say, quite honestly, not looking at Peter in case how could you how could you how could you shines through in my eyes. "I have to go. I have to speak to Prongs."
"I'll come with you."
"No," I say immediately, my stomach clenching at the idea of Peter anywhere near James, Lily or baby Harry. "They might be watching. You should go home, wait where it's safe. We - we'll need you safe," I say with a fairly passable tremor in my voice. Peter has to believe I’m sincere. "I'll contact you there."
"If you're sure," he says doubtfully.
"Yeah," I say distractedly. "It's for the best. I'll be in touch really soon."
"Alright, mate. Be safe."
I apparate straight away into the garden of James and Lily's house. James is already at the door by the time I get there, doubtless alerted by the wards.
"Padfoot?" he calls.
"Prongs, I solemnly swear I am up to no good," I say, and even as I say it, I wonders at the extent of Peter's treachery. He could have polyjuiced into Remus, or me, came here, said those words and sown all manner of seeds.
"Come in, shit, what's happened? You look terrible," James says, ushering me inside and locking the door. In the kitchen, Lily is standing with Harry in her arms, her eyes wide and wary. Harry coos at the sight of me, and I look from Lily to James and back again a few times.
"Please trust me on this," I say. "You need to get out of the country."
"What?" Lily demands. "Don't be ridiculous."
"Wait a minute, babe," James says, and I look at him closely. "Sirius, what the hell?"
"Peter is the spy," I tell him, and I hear Lily's gasp but doesn’t look away from James' face. His eyes widen almost comically behind his glasses. "Please, James. Please trust me. I can't explain how I know, but I do. I'll fix it, I swear I will, but you need to take your wife and your son, and you need to get away. Illegal international portkey if you have to, but do it."
"Peter wouldn't - " James says and then breaks off, looking at me suspiciously. "Tell me something no one else knows."
For a horrible moment I draw a blank. The four of us have lived in each others' pockets for so long that I can't think of anything I haven't shared with Remus, or Peter, or even Lily at some point. Except - fuck, James is going to kill me. But he's going to believe me.
"We kissed for exactly two and a half minutes the night after the first time Evans properly knocked you back."
"Sirius!" James howls, at the same time as Lily explodes into nervous laughter, covering her mouth with her hand a second later, jiggling Harry.
"I couldn't think of anything else," I tell James apologetically.
"Bloody hell," James grumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks over at Lily and Harry and rubs the back of his neck. "Are you sure?" he asks, and I nod. "How? How can you be sure?"
I rub my hands over my face and sigh. I don’t know if Peter's been working on them the same way he tried to work on me. They might already suspect Remus, even if they apparently don;t suspect me. I don't know what it's safe to say, so I have to settle for nothing and hope that will be enough for the first and only brother of my heart.
"I will explain everything," I promise. "In really painful detail, I swear. I don't know when anything's going to happen and I don't think it'll be straight away, but we can't risk that. Some things - " my throat closes up and I look from my brother to the closest I’ll ever come to a son. "Some things are too important, alright, so you have to - you have to, Prongs - "
To my surprise, it's Lily who says, "Alright. We'll go to - "
"Don't tell me," I interrupt immediately. "Something might go wrong. Cover your tracks."
"Use the mirror as soon as we can come back," James says, and I have a moment of relief that James isn’t arguing that he will see Lily and Harry safely away and then come back to help. I could talk him out of it, I’m sure, but I’d rather not waste the time. I’ve already spent too long here, with the niggling awareness in the back of my mind that if me and Peter supposedly think that Remus is the spy, then he would seem a legitimate target. I need to get home.
"I will," I tell James. "I swear it. Look, I need to go. Cover your tracks," I tell them again, and lean over to hug James, crossing the room to kiss Lily's cheek and Harry's hair. "Good luck," I tell them, close my eyes, and apparate away.
I go half way, stopping off in Shropshire to send a Patronus to Dumbledore first, asking - telling, really - him to meet me at home. Then I apparate there thinking please be home, please be home, please, please, and he is. He's home and he's whole and he’s sitting at the table, books and parchment all around him and it's so like school that I can't catch my breath. Remus stands and turns to me with a wide, pleased smile which falters when he sees my face. I cross the room to Remus and grasp him tightly, pressing my face to his neck and breathing deeply.
"What's wrong?" Remus asks, as his hands move in soothing circles over my back. "What's happened?"
"I - "
Here in Remus’ arms, where I’ve always been welcome, always felt safe, I can't say the words for a moment. Another deep breath of him and I force them out.
"It's Peter. Fucking Peter."
"What's happened to him?" Remus demands.
"No, Moony. It's Peter."
He stiffens in my arms and pulls back, eyeing me warily.
"Sirius?"
"You once gave me a very drunken, very sexy strip tease to Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love after an evening at Molly and Arthur's."
It's only because I know him so well that I can see the reflexive twitch of a smile before Remus goes a terrible ashy colour and leans heavily against me.
"Oh - oh fuck," he mumbles. "How - are you sure?"
"It has to be," I say. "I trust you."
He looks at me curiously.
"I - He tried to set you up," I confess, and those words are somehow even harder to say, because I know they will hurt him. Sure enough, he pulls back a little and looks at me with wide, baffled eyes. I’m furious now, in a way I didn't have time to be earlier. How dare he? How could he?
"I - I've never lied to you," Remus says.
"I believe you," I assure him, closing the distance he had put between us and pulling him into a tight embrace. "Which means he did. Or tried to."
"We need to warn James and Lily - "
"Done it," I say.
"And tell the Order - "
"Done," I tell him. "Dumbledore's on his way."
"I can't - I can't believe - "
"Moony," I say, and he falls silent, his arms coming up around my waist, pressing his face into my hair.
“How can we – we’ll have to tell him that we’ve been telling each other,” he points out after a moment and I nod against his shoulder. “We probably won’t get any more missions, you know?” I nod again. “People won’t trust us.” I shrug this time, and his hand comes up to the back of my skull, holding me close and swaying a little. It’s an oddly soothing motion, back and forth, back and forth. He whispers in my ear that some things are more important and we fall silent.
Soon, Dumbledore will arrive in a flash of light and wheels will be put into motion, events far beyond me and Remus, alone in our flat, trusting each other. For now, I just breathe him in, let his fingers stroke though my hair, and think that if I have him, then I have enough.
Author: Lyds
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Basically a, 'what if', AU type thing. It can become AU from pretty much any time before they start fighting in the first war, but in my head, the background for this is that James, not Sirius, sent Snape to the shack. It doesn't come up though, so whatever floats your boat.
Notes: I maintain that if the puppies had watched more mafia films, the whole mess could have been averted. Because the one who brings you the message is always the rat - so to speak - right? Right!
Disclaimer: JKR’s, not mine.
Words: About 2000
My mind is racing. Unless Remus has lied to me, which I don’t consider even for an instant, then Peter is lying to me now. Well, not lying as such. Misleading me. Confusing me. Well, trying to confuse me. It's rare that Peter can get anything by me, but war is so much more baffling than I had realised. Especially where spying is concerned. Naïve little me, I’d imagined pitched battles with hooded Death Eaters. Instead, it's this mess, this mire.
Although I try to trust all of my friends, Remus is the only one I really take at face value. Three weeks after we started working fulltime for The Order, Remus was briefly captured. I’ve got no legal status as Remus’ next of kin, and had no idea where he was, had been frantic for two days and nights until Remus stumbled home, battered and bruised, but still alive, still perfect. We’d talked and argued and talked some more, and finally agreed to tell each other everything. We’d both had the same objections to the idea, but had sort of talked each other round, and Remus had come out with one of his strange Muggle phrases about being hung for a sheep, and we’d agreed on everything.
Everything.
So we told each other about every assignment, every rumour, every piece of classified information. The only rule is that we don’t try to talk each other out of any missions. As far as I know, Remus hasn't seen Snape since school, and now Peter was saying he'd seen them talking in Knockturn Alley last week. More to the point, I know that Remus was in Bristol last week.
Abruptly, stupidly, I have an image of Remus at a fancy dress party a few years ago. He'd been drunk and giggly, wonderfully affectionate. In his - to my mind at least - ridiculously sexy gangster suit, with a hat tipped down over one eye, and a bright yellow muggle water pistol stuck in his belt, he'd clung to me and called me a doity rat in a horrible Brooklyn accent, laughing against my neck.
A rat, for crying out loud!
All this runs through my head in an instant and I suppose that's one positive side effect of trying to follow who's on whose side all the time - you think fast.
"Fucking bastard!" I spit, supposedly about Remus, and now I know to look, I can see a muted version of the old, familiar look of greedy excitement at a plot going right in Peter's eyes. "Fuck, Wormtail, what're we going to do?"
"I don't know," he says, gnawing on his bottom lip.
Remus said Dumbledore had sent him to Bristol. If so... If so... I need to get home. Tell Remus. Go to Dumbledore. Get proof. Get Peter. Fuck. Peter. Friendly, loyal, nervous little Peter, with his sudden absences, and the recent glimmers of inexplicable confidence in his eyes.
"Fuck, how could he?" I ask, covering my face with my hands and breathing deeply. It's taking a lot to do what I know I must, and not just strike Peter down right here and now.
"Are you alright?" he asks, and has the guts to rest a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"No," I say, quite honestly, not looking at Peter in case how could you how could you how could you shines through in my eyes. "I have to go. I have to speak to Prongs."
"I'll come with you."
"No," I say immediately, my stomach clenching at the idea of Peter anywhere near James, Lily or baby Harry. "They might be watching. You should go home, wait where it's safe. We - we'll need you safe," I say with a fairly passable tremor in my voice. Peter has to believe I’m sincere. "I'll contact you there."
"If you're sure," he says doubtfully.
"Yeah," I say distractedly. "It's for the best. I'll be in touch really soon."
"Alright, mate. Be safe."
I apparate straight away into the garden of James and Lily's house. James is already at the door by the time I get there, doubtless alerted by the wards.
"Padfoot?" he calls.
"Prongs, I solemnly swear I am up to no good," I say, and even as I say it, I wonders at the extent of Peter's treachery. He could have polyjuiced into Remus, or me, came here, said those words and sown all manner of seeds.
"Come in, shit, what's happened? You look terrible," James says, ushering me inside and locking the door. In the kitchen, Lily is standing with Harry in her arms, her eyes wide and wary. Harry coos at the sight of me, and I look from Lily to James and back again a few times.
"Please trust me on this," I say. "You need to get out of the country."
"What?" Lily demands. "Don't be ridiculous."
"Wait a minute, babe," James says, and I look at him closely. "Sirius, what the hell?"
"Peter is the spy," I tell him, and I hear Lily's gasp but doesn’t look away from James' face. His eyes widen almost comically behind his glasses. "Please, James. Please trust me. I can't explain how I know, but I do. I'll fix it, I swear I will, but you need to take your wife and your son, and you need to get away. Illegal international portkey if you have to, but do it."
"Peter wouldn't - " James says and then breaks off, looking at me suspiciously. "Tell me something no one else knows."
For a horrible moment I draw a blank. The four of us have lived in each others' pockets for so long that I can't think of anything I haven't shared with Remus, or Peter, or even Lily at some point. Except - fuck, James is going to kill me. But he's going to believe me.
"We kissed for exactly two and a half minutes the night after the first time Evans properly knocked you back."
"Sirius!" James howls, at the same time as Lily explodes into nervous laughter, covering her mouth with her hand a second later, jiggling Harry.
"I couldn't think of anything else," I tell James apologetically.
"Bloody hell," James grumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks over at Lily and Harry and rubs the back of his neck. "Are you sure?" he asks, and I nod. "How? How can you be sure?"
I rub my hands over my face and sigh. I don’t know if Peter's been working on them the same way he tried to work on me. They might already suspect Remus, even if they apparently don;t suspect me. I don't know what it's safe to say, so I have to settle for nothing and hope that will be enough for the first and only brother of my heart.
"I will explain everything," I promise. "In really painful detail, I swear. I don't know when anything's going to happen and I don't think it'll be straight away, but we can't risk that. Some things - " my throat closes up and I look from my brother to the closest I’ll ever come to a son. "Some things are too important, alright, so you have to - you have to, Prongs - "
To my surprise, it's Lily who says, "Alright. We'll go to - "
"Don't tell me," I interrupt immediately. "Something might go wrong. Cover your tracks."
"Use the mirror as soon as we can come back," James says, and I have a moment of relief that James isn’t arguing that he will see Lily and Harry safely away and then come back to help. I could talk him out of it, I’m sure, but I’d rather not waste the time. I’ve already spent too long here, with the niggling awareness in the back of my mind that if me and Peter supposedly think that Remus is the spy, then he would seem a legitimate target. I need to get home.
"I will," I tell James. "I swear it. Look, I need to go. Cover your tracks," I tell them again, and lean over to hug James, crossing the room to kiss Lily's cheek and Harry's hair. "Good luck," I tell them, close my eyes, and apparate away.
I go half way, stopping off in Shropshire to send a Patronus to Dumbledore first, asking - telling, really - him to meet me at home. Then I apparate there thinking please be home, please be home, please, please, and he is. He's home and he's whole and he’s sitting at the table, books and parchment all around him and it's so like school that I can't catch my breath. Remus stands and turns to me with a wide, pleased smile which falters when he sees my face. I cross the room to Remus and grasp him tightly, pressing my face to his neck and breathing deeply.
"What's wrong?" Remus asks, as his hands move in soothing circles over my back. "What's happened?"
"I - "
Here in Remus’ arms, where I’ve always been welcome, always felt safe, I can't say the words for a moment. Another deep breath of him and I force them out.
"It's Peter. Fucking Peter."
"What's happened to him?" Remus demands.
"No, Moony. It's Peter."
He stiffens in my arms and pulls back, eyeing me warily.
"Sirius?"
"You once gave me a very drunken, very sexy strip tease to Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love after an evening at Molly and Arthur's."
It's only because I know him so well that I can see the reflexive twitch of a smile before Remus goes a terrible ashy colour and leans heavily against me.
"Oh - oh fuck," he mumbles. "How - are you sure?"
"It has to be," I say. "I trust you."
He looks at me curiously.
"I - He tried to set you up," I confess, and those words are somehow even harder to say, because I know they will hurt him. Sure enough, he pulls back a little and looks at me with wide, baffled eyes. I’m furious now, in a way I didn't have time to be earlier. How dare he? How could he?
"I - I've never lied to you," Remus says.
"I believe you," I assure him, closing the distance he had put between us and pulling him into a tight embrace. "Which means he did. Or tried to."
"We need to warn James and Lily - "
"Done it," I say.
"And tell the Order - "
"Done," I tell him. "Dumbledore's on his way."
"I can't - I can't believe - "
"Moony," I say, and he falls silent, his arms coming up around my waist, pressing his face into my hair.
“How can we – we’ll have to tell him that we’ve been telling each other,” he points out after a moment and I nod against his shoulder. “We probably won’t get any more missions, you know?” I nod again. “People won’t trust us.” I shrug this time, and his hand comes up to the back of my skull, holding me close and swaying a little. It’s an oddly soothing motion, back and forth, back and forth. He whispers in my ear that some things are more important and we fall silent.
Soon, Dumbledore will arrive in a flash of light and wheels will be put into motion, events far beyond me and Remus, alone in our flat, trusting each other. For now, I just breathe him in, let his fingers stroke though my hair, and think that if I have him, then I have enough.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 07:50 pm (UTC)...
THIS SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED *bursts into tears*
no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 07:52 pm (UTC)canon makes me so frustrated and all i can write recently is ways to get them out of it :(
thanks for the comment xx
no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 07:52 pm (UTC)Lovely story!
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Date: 2008-08-20 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 09:47 pm (UTC)I really like that it's in first person...I don't see too many of those.
If only this was what actually happened! But if it had, I guess we really wouldn't have a story, would we?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 09:59 pm (UTC)Only thing, it's obvious you first wrote this in third person perspective then changed it to first as some of the verbs are still in the wrong tense.
Other than that, there is absolutely nothing I could criticize, because there ARE more important things than fighting a war. Like the reasons why.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:17 am (UTC)(And actually, I wrote it in first, changed it to third and then changed it back. Because I am DECISIVE!)
xx
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Date: 2008-08-20 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-21 09:19 am (UTC)I don't know, I'm toying with the idea of writing the shack scene, rather than Peter's bit although that's quite tempting too. Maybe ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 03:50 am (UTC)the thing that's bothered me about the order is keeping secrets from each other. that just leads to lies and suspicion, i'm so glad R/S avoided that trap in this AU.
"It has to be," I say. "I trust you."
&hearts
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Date: 2008-08-22 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 01:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-23 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-24 06:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-25 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-24 07:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-25 06:55 pm (UTC)