leashy_bebes | i am suffering from an excess of feelings

Gwaine's nape itches from the brush of his cloak. His own skin, the smile on his face, even the curl of his fingers feels foreign. Words taste wrong in his mouth. Somehow, tied down into the service of a king, adopted into a group of comrades with bonds forged in battle, Gwaine feels less sure of his place in the world than he ever has.

He knows where he wants to fit – right there, in the crook of that skinny arm, within reach of long fingers, trading jokes and secrets around a campfire. If he'd known, back then, that throwing himself into someone else's fight would end up dragging him into a world that's so much bigger than anything he's ever wanted... Well, he probably would have done it anyway.

Which means that ending up like this – talking all the time but saying nothing of himself, watching friendships he'd stumbled into twist and stretch under the pressures of other things – was always a probability. He doesn't know whether that makes him feel better or worse.

i am suffering from an excess of feelings

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