FIC: Just Sex (1/1)
Sep. 10th, 2007 07:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leashy_bebesTitle: Just Sex (1/1)
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, Frank Longbottom (R/S, J/L)
Summary: Strangeness begets strangeness, and the next thing you know you're in bed with your best friend and it's a million miles from 'just sex'. 1st war era.
Notes: If this fic had a soundtrack, it would be 'Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong' by Radiohead. Just so you know. In my head, that is the James/Lily song, and when I started this, I sort of intended to carry it on with more of a James/Lily focus. I might still do at some point, but who knows.
Words: 5000ish
Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR's
Sirius stomps up the stairs to his flat, tugging off his scarf and swearing softly under his breath as he goes. He's getting more frustrated with every passing Order mission - mission, yeah right - as they seem to involve nothing more than watching buildings that no one approaches. He's been on the early shift from seven in the morning until three in the afternoon, and yet again, a staggering lack of Death Eaters had abounded. It's stupid, Sirius tells himself. Why would they use the door? On what planet would that make sense? They're wizards, for fuck's sake!
Sirius thinks that maybe that's the problem. Because Merlin forbid anyone should admit that the Death Eaters - and when you get right down to it, Voldemort too - are just that. Just wizards and witches. 'They are us,' Sirius had said at one Order meeting, finally sickening of the attempts to explain the Death Eaters as something else, something aberrant and impossibly other. The looks he got in return made him painfully aware of just how similar the good guys and the bad guys really were, because he could see it clearly on a lot of faces - he is a Black after all - and isn't that just typical, isn't it fucking great? The side of light is just as judgmental and bigoted as 'them'.
With a snort of frustration, Sirius fumbles his key into the lock and pushes through the door, tossing his scarf to one side and shrugging off his jacket.
"Hi," Remus says from the sofa. Sirius nearly chokes on his own tongue. Remus is flat on his back, his legs hanging over one end of the sofa, an arm slung across his face.
"God! You scared the life out of me. I thought you were working til late?"
"Huh," Remus grunts from behind his arm.
Uh-oh.
"What happened?"
"Not now," Remus says, unmoving. Sirius just raises his eyebrows and crosses the room to floo call James. It's something they all do now, even though Remus and Sirius share a flat. As soon as they get back from a mission, they let one of the others know they're safe.
Lily answers the floo, something Sirius still can't get used to. Lily and James aren't living together, not officially. Lily's parents wouldn't stand for that without a ring on her finger, but she spends more time there than they know.
"Hello, Evans."
"Hello," Lily says briefly, only her head visible, and not even all of that, as though she can't wait to get away.
"Is James around?"
"No," Lily says. "No, he's - " she pauses briefly. " - at the shops."
"'At the shops', eh?" Sirius laughs. "Randy buggers. Tell him I got back okay, will you? Have him floo me when he gets back from the er, shops."
"Alright. I have to go, I have something in the oven."
Sirius' eyes widen in delight at that all too easy opportunity. "Oh, Miss Evans! The disgrace!" But Lily's face disappears before he can expand any further and Sirius raises his eyebrows. "Moody cow," he says idly. "Maybe she really is up the stick."
"What?" Remus asks.
"Preggers. Up the duff. In a family way."
"What?"
"Nothing, doesn't matter," Sirius sighs.
"Was that Lily?"
"Yeah."
"She sounded strange," Remus remarks, his eyes still hidden by his forearm.
"She is strange. That's why James likes her. Probably why she likes James, actually, come to think of it."
"Did she say she had something in the oven?" Remus asks, suddenly bolting upright.
"Yes," Sirius says exasperatedly. "Why, what's wrong with that?"
"Lily doesn't cook," Remus says. "Lily never cooks."
"So they were probably shagging," Sirius says, waving his hand. "She told me Prongs was at the shops, and he never..." It clicks into place suddenly. Lily hasn't been that distant with him since school, and Remus is right. Lily never cooks, and James...
"Never goes shopping," Remus finishes.
"D'you think...?" Sirius starts, his eyes wide and fearful. "Was she trying to tell us something?"
"I - I - yeah, I think we should..."
"I'll take the bike over, you let the Order know."
"Fuck that," Remus says, getting to his feet and crossing to the fireplace. "You're not going on your own."
"Don't waste time!"
"Get the bike, disillusion it, meet me outside my bedroom window in a minute," Remus orders, grabbing a pinch of floo powder. As Sirius runs for the door, he can hear Remus shouting Peter's address into the flames. Sirius staggers down the stairs, not sure how he remains upright. He's so scared, all of a sudden, as though the war hadn't been real until now, until this. He keeps seeing James in his mind's eye, lying quiet and pale and still, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.
Shaking his head against the images, Sirius runs to the bike and disillusions it and himself before following Remus' directions. By the time he gets up to the second floor window, Remus is already waiting.
"God, this is weird," he mutters. "Where are you?"
"Here," Sirius says, reaching out an all but invisible hand and grasping Remus' forearm. Once Remus manages to settle himself on the bike, Sirius reaches around and performs the disillusionment charm on him.
"Good?" Remus checks.
"Good," Sirius confirms. "Hold on to me."
Remus reaches forward blindly and edges his arms around Sirius' chest. He's got lifts on the bike before when the bike was invisible, but not when Sirius was too, and definitely not when he himself was pretty much see-through. "Gotcha," he says.
They leap forward in the air, the noise of the engine baffling passers by below until Sirius goes higher.
"I called Peter!" Remus yells over the rushing wind. "And Frank."
"Good," Sirius yells back. "Five minutes!"
The bike leaps forward again, and Remus closes his eyes against the sickening blur of scenery. It doesn't enter his head for a second that they might be rushing in with the full cavalry for nothing at all. He knows in his heart, he can feel that something is wrong, something has happened.
Considerably less than five minutes later, Sirius lands the bike a bit away from James' house. "Keep the dissilusion on as long as you can," Sirius whispers from Remus' side. Remus nods before he realises Sirius can't see him.
"Yeah," he whispers. "Let's get over there."
James' house is on a quiet road opposite a park. The houses are not huge, but decently sized, all with large bay windows in the front. Remus feels his stomach lurch when he sees a brief flash of several tall figures moving inside before the curtains swish closed across the window.
"You see that?" Sirius asks.
"Yes."
"We're not waiting for Peter and the others," Sirius' voice says next to his ear.
"Of course we're not," Remus says, feeling slightly offended that Sirius would expect him to suggest that.
"Come on, then," Sirius says. They hurry up the steps to the front door. Sirius and Remus are both keyed into the wards, and Sirius' whispered spell opens the door easily. Inside, Remus shuts the door behind them with a soft click. The stairs are directly in front of the door, and the living room off to the right. The door to the living room is shut tight, and as Sirius opens it with another spell, the noise is suddenly deafening. There are shouts and curses and panic, and Remus thinks they manage to slip inside without anyone being any the wiser.
Because, he realises, the four Death Eaters in the room are totally focussed on Lily. And with good reason. Remus feels like he could cheer. Although there's no sign of James, Lily is upright and breathing. What's more, in spite of a nasty cut on her temple and sheet of blood down one cheek, she has her wand pressed deep into the neck of one of the Death Eaters. Her free arm is around his throat.
"I'll kill you," she's saying. "I will kill you. Get out, get out of my house!"
Remus unfreezes and stuns one of the other Death Eaters, who all have their wands trained on Lily. He falls forward with a grunt and the other occupants of the room, including Lily, whirl in confusion.
"It's us, Red!" Sirius yells, knowing Lily will get the message. Sure enough, Remus sees Lily's face break into a smile. She steps back from the Death Eater she was using as a shield and stuns him, turning her wand on one of the others at the same time as Remus hits him with a jinx.
It's all over remarkably quickly. While Sirius conjures ropes to tie the unconscious Death Eaters, Remus disillusions himself and hurries over to Lily who is standing frozen, her wand still dangling from her fingertips. Remus takes it from her and places it on the shelf. Lily stares at him and then blinks twice, before she crumples. Remus thinks she's passing out and grabs her hurriedly, but she bursts into horrible, child-like sobs instead and clings to him. Scared, Remus realises. When terrifying things happen, things so bad that you have to act immediately, the fear will hit you afterwards, and evidently it's hit Lily like a ton of bricks.
"Shh," he whispers, rocking her back and forth. "Shh, you're okay, you're fine, you did it, you're - "
"James," Lily chokes out.
Sirius makes a garbled noise in his throat and looks up from securing the last Death Eater.
"Where is he?" Remus asks, cupping Lily's face in his hands and staring at her.
"I think they k - "
"Where is James?" Remus demands, cutting her off before she can say the words.
"Ups-stairs," Lily manages around a sob.
Immediately, Sirius is on his feet and heading for the stairs.
"Sirius, no," Remus barks out. "Wait here. Stay with Lily and keep an eye on these ones. Frank and Peter and the rest will be here soon. I'll - I'll check."
Lily gives a hiccupping sob at that and lets Remus guide her over to Sirius who takes her hand in a tight grip, staring up at Remus the whole time.
"Re - "
"Just - Just make sure Lily's head has stopped bleeding, alright?" Remus says, swallowing awkwardly.
The fourteen steps up to the first floor seem to take Remus forever, and at the same time, he finds himself outside the bedroom door all too quickly. There's blood on the door handle, he notes detachedly. Just a smear, just a little bit, but still there, still not dry.
With a deep breath, Remus toes the door open. James is lying face down by the bed, a pool of blood around his head. Dead, he's dead, Remus thinks as he takes in that black pool. Who could lose that and survive? There's a roaring sound in Remus' ears as he crosses the room and falls to his knees by James' side. His hands tremble as he reaches out and turns James over, leaning close to him as he does so. James' face is a mess. His nose looks broken, and his bottom lip is split, at least one tooth missing from his mouth. Remus settles one finger along James' top lip and waits. For a black second there's nothing, and then he feels a soft gust of breath against his skin. It feels like every muscle in his body has turned to water as he slumps down, squeezing James' shoulder.
"HE'S ALIVE!" Remus yells, and from downstairs, he can hear Lily's little scream of relief. Pointing his wand at James, Remus whispers, "enervate."
James' eyelids flutter a couple of times and then come open. He stares about in panic.
"Lily!"
"Downstairs," Remus says, squeezing James' shoulder again. "She's fine. You're both fine."
"No! Lily!"
Remus hears her footsteps pounding up the stairs and then she's there, collapsing at James' side, cradling his head in her lap.
"Oh, God," she breathes. "I thought you were - "
"Never," James manages, grasping Lily's hand and brushing it against his lips. It comes away smeared with blood, but Lily doesn't seem to notice. "I'd never do that to you."
Wordlessly, Remus stands and leaves them. He can hear other members of the Order arriving now, can hear Sirius yelling at them for their slow response, but he stops when Remus arrives, laying a placating hand on his arm.
***
It's dark by the time Remus and Sirius get back to their flat. St. Mungo's had discharged Lily after only a brief glance at the cut on her head. It had bled a lot, as scalp wounds will, but there was no sign of concussion. James was staying overnight for observation, in case any spell damage came to light. The pool of blood that had looked so dark and deadly to Remus' eyes was due to nothing more than a few scalp wounds, and the damage to James' nose and mouth, which were all easily repaired.
Remus and Sirius had given their version of events to Dumbledore, along with James and Lily, before escorting Lily back to her parents' house for the night. She protested vociferously, but only family members were permitted to stay the night at St. Mungo's, and no one thought she should be alone after the Death Eaters had sought her and James out specifically.
"Drink?" Sirius offers as soon as they get through the door.
"Abso-bloody-lutely," Remus agrees fervently, slumping down onto the sofa.
Within minutes, Sirius joins him with a bottle of Ogden's and two glasses. Sirius' hand trembles a little as he pours the drinks, but Remus pretends not to notice and just accepts the glass, looking at the amber liquid intently for a moment before Sirius' glass clinks against his.
"To getting there in time," Sirius suggests. Remus gives a snort of humourless laughter and taps his glass to Sirius'. They both finish their drinks in one grateful swallow, and Sirius wastes no time in refilling their glasses.
Remus drinks his second slower, but Sirius shows no signs of slowing down and knocks back his second and third drinks before Remus is finished. Something prickles at Sirius' mind as he watches Remus cradle his glass in one hand, staring into its depths.
"Why were you home from work early?" Sirius asks.
Remus makes a small noise of displeasure and finishes his drink, motioning for the bottle again. Sirius passes it over wordlessly. "Lost m'job," Remus mumbles.
"No! Why?"
"Unreliable, aren't I?"
"Since when?" Sirius demands incredulously.
"Since the war, since the Order, since I'm a bloody werewolf."
"Ah, Remus," Sirius sighs, slinging his arm around Remus' shoulders. "You don't have to work, you know?"
"Let's not have this conversation again, Padfoot?" Remus requests.
"I'm just saying, if you wanted to not work, focus on the Order full time, then I could - "
"No," Remus says.
"But - "
"No, Padfoot. Look, I'm not stupid, I know how much flats in this area cost, and I've figured out you're undercharging my rent by at least half, I'm not taking anything else from you."
"Stupid, stubborn werewolf," Sirius says affectionately, squeezing Remus' shoulders and pouring them some more drinks.
**
It's several hours later and they've been drinking steadily, when Remus looks at Sirius sharply.
"Are you okay?"
"Why d'you ask?"
"Because I know you," Remus points out. "Because I know what James means to you."
"I was really scared," Sirius says in a hollow voice.
"I know," Remus says soothingly.
"No, I was really scared," Sirius says. "Earlier, on the way home, I was thinking about - about how boring it was just to be on surveillance all day, kind of wishing something would happen and - and when it did, I was crap."
"You were not," Remus interrupts fiercely. "You got us there before anyone else, you took out two of the Death Eaters alone, you took care of Lily - "
Sirius shakes his head. "We just - just sat there and cried until you called. I was rubbish."
"Come here, you dozy puppy," Remus says affectionately, pulling Sirius into a rough hug. "You did what you needed to do and you didn't fall apart until afterwards. No one can ask any more."
"Maybe," Sirius says.
"You know I'm right," Remus asserts. "Can I get you another drink?"
"Yeah. Yeah, thanks, mate."
"No need to thank me, you paid for the firewhisky."
"So I did," Sirius remarks. "And you know I didn't mean for the drink."
"Mmm," Remus mutters as he pours them both another glass. "Listen, I know you feel bad, but from a - a ridiculous, neutral point of view, tonight was a success."
"I know. I know, we captured some Death Eaters. They won't be major players, will they? They never bloody are."
"No," Remus admits. "But it's four less."
"Yeah," Sirius sighs, reaching for his drink. Remus hands it to him and they clink their glasses.
"We managed," Remus says quietly.
"Yeah," Sirius says, taking a mouthful of his whisky before looking at Remus seriously. "We have to be more careful."
"Sirius - "
"I mean it. All of us. We need to make a - a - I don't know, a password or a secret question, or something."
"Hey, maybe we could have a secret handshake, too!" Remus cracks, toasting sloppily with his glass.
"I mean it!" Sirius snaps, slamming his glass down on the table and taking hold of Remus' arm in a tight grip. When Sirius meets Remus' gaze, his eyes are wide and troubled. Remus frowns at him.
"Wha - "
"I can't lose you, any of you," Sirius says fiercely. "You lot are all I've got."
"Me too, you know," Remus says gently.
"No," Sirius says immediately. "Sorry, Remus, but no. You have your parents, and they love you. I - I think the only people who love me are - "
Without thinking, Remus leans forward and presses his lips against Sirius'. There isn't even a second's hesitation before Sirius' lips move against his, and Remus can feel his breath coming in short gusts for a moment before he pulls back to look Sirius in the eye. For a minute they just examine each other, before Remus sets his own glass down and moves in to kiss Sirius again, his hand going into the hair at the nape of Sirius' neck. This time, Sirius' mouth opens under his, and Remus reaches forward, exploring and tasting with his tongue while Sirius' hands flutter over his sides and finally come to rest on his waist and shoulder.
"You won't lose us," Remus says, pulling back for a moment. "You won't lose me."
Sirius gasps a breath against Remus' neck before pressing his face close again for another kiss. Remus obliges him, searching for another taste of firewhiskey in Sirius' mouth, and before he knows what's happening, Sirius is pressing him back into the sofa.
"Wait - " Remus mutters against Sirius' lips, getting to his feet and reaching one hand down to Sirius, looking at him silently.
Sirius looks up, his eyes fixing on Remus for a moment before he reaches up, lets Remus pull him to his feet and into another kiss.
"Your place or mine?" Remus quips.
"My room's a mess," Sirius says into Remus' neck, feeling long fingers tangle through his hair.
"What a shock," Remus says, tilting Sirius' chin up and pressing a kiss to his open lips before tightening his grasp and apparating them both into his own room.
"Show off," Sirius reprimands him, before falling silent as Remus tugs at the bottom of his t-shirt questioningly. Sirius nods briefly and raises his arms. He doesn't see where the shirt ends up, because as soon as it's gone, Remus pulls him close and into a kiss, his hands roaming Sirius' bare back. "Moony..."
"What?"
"Take your shirt off," Sirius requests.
Remus' lips quirk into a smile and Sirius has just enough time to wonder when Remus got so bold before he's pushed into a sitting position on the edge of Remus' bed, watching as Remus' fingers flick his shirt buttons open one by one.
"What do you want to do?" Remus asks, dropping his shirt to the floor.
"I - "
For some reason, Sirius' mouth is dry, his palms damp with sweat. He hasn't been this nervous since his first time.
"I want - "
Remus kneels astride Sirius' legs, tilting his chin up and planting a quick peck on his lips.
"Mmm?"
"I want you to fuck me," Sirius bursts out.
Remus stills for a moment, his thumbs running over Sirius' cheekbones.
"Really?"
It's strange to see Remus' face this close up, and Sirius lets his gaze skitter over warm brown eyes, faded scars and an oddly full lower lip before he answers.
"Yes."
Sirius reaches for Remus' hips and pulls his friend down with him as he flops back onto the bed. Remus' belt is more fiddly than it has any right to be, and Sirius is fairly sure that some of the warm breath of his face is from Remus' laughter. Remus, on the other hand, makes short work of Sirius' jeans, nudging the material down far enough for Sirius to wriggle out of them completely.
"Struggling?" Remus quips.
"Your fucking belt - " Sirius snaps, frustrated.
"Here," Remus offers, pushing himself upright and standing. He undoes his belt with embarrassing ease and then all of a sudden he's there in front of Sirius and he's naked.
Sirius feels a surge of lust so strong it unnerves him and he reaches out to stop Remus from rejoining him on the bed.
"Wait, wait, wait a minute," Sirius says breathlessly. "What - what are we doing here?"
Remus looks askance at him. "Umm..."
"I mean - what is this?"
"Sex," Remus says plainly. "S'just sex, Padfoot."
"Just sex," Sirius echoes, not sure if he's relieved or not. Briefly, he feels strange, and banishes the feeling by pulling Remus back down onto the bed. Remus settles himself between Sirius' thighs and Sirius sees sparks when Remus attacks his chest with lips and tongue and teeth - fucking hell, teeth!
Sirius makes a wholly undignified noise as Remus sucks at his collarbone and twists his fingers into Remus' hair. Remus murmurs a questioning noise against Sirius' chest and the vibrations across his skin make Sirius shiver.
"Stop teasing," Sirius demands, managing to catch Remus off-guard and flip them over. He kisses a line down Remus' neck. "Stop teasing and fuck me."
Remus takes him at his word and within minutes has lube in one hand, gently working Sirius open.
“Enough,” Sirius bites out, when Remus gets up to three fingers.
“Sure?”
“Yes, damn it!”
Snickering, Remus changes their positions, sitting up and pulling Sirius astride his lap.
“In your own time,” he grins, his teeth dazzlingly white in the dim light.
Sirius lines up and sinks down and - oh God right there!
“Move,” he stutters.
“You’re on top, you move,” Remus counters with a nip to Sirius’ chin. Nonetheless, he moves his hips as best he can and Sirius clenches his fingers into Remus’ hair desperately. They move together, slow and as easy as if they’ve had years of practice. Remus trails a line of kisses across Sirius’ chest, up over the line of his throat, ending up on his mouth, a swipe of hot tongue searing Sirius’ lower lip.
It seems almost a lazy movement as Remus arches his hips up at the same time as he forces Sirius' down, but Sirius feels like he's going to die. He chokes out a ragged breath and buries his face into Remus' hair, his arms trembling around Remus' shoulders.
Remus gasps against Sirius' skin, his hands on the small of Sirius' back, holding him close. It's not enough, though. Not -
"I need - " Remus chokes out.
Sirius throws his head back and groans.
"Anything," he manages, and he means it, God, does he mean it! Remus feels so damn good, and Sirius would give anything for this to last.
Remus groans against Sirius' shoulder before reaching up and grasping his hair, guiding him down into a hot kiss.
"Need - harder - " Remus manages to garble against Sirius' throat.
"Me too, God, me too," Sirius moans, and he really does. He just wants Remus to pound into him, fuck this horrible day away. "Wait," Sirius mutters. "Wait."
It's the hardest thing he's ever had to do, but he gets up out of Remus' lap, unable to stop a moan of loss as Remus' cock slides out of him. In an instant, Sirius has repositioned himself on the bed. He gets on his knees with his back to Remus, his arms on the bed, fingers gripping the sheets convulsively. He hears Remus choke behind him, and finds himself desperately wondering what facial expression would accompany a noise like that. There's an instant of delay before strong hands grasp his hips and Remus drives in fully, his fingers tight around Sirius' hipbones.
"Yes?" Remus asks, his fingers slipping on Sirius' skin.
"Yes," Sirius manages. "Yes, fucking hell, yes - "
His voice dies in his throat when Remus sets up a blinding rhythm, long fingers squeezing Sirius' hips in time with his movements. Sirius is vaguely aware that he's talking - although babbling is probably a more accurate description of the broken words and cries spilling from his lips - a lot more than he usually does during sex. He'd be embarrassed at Remus hearing such things, such begging and cursing and half-sobbing, if they didn't seem to rouse Remus to move faster and harder inside him.
This is perfect. Perfect, and just what he needs, and Sirius turns his head, straining his neck to look at Remus. He seems golden in the half-light, scars hardly visible at all, that full lower lip clenched between his teeth as he tosses his head, throwing sweat-damp hair back out of his eyes.
"Sirius," he grinds out and Sirius watches his mouth move hungrily. "Sirius, you - close?"
"Fuck, yes." Sirius is surprised at the question. He's been close for ages, and this is the sweetest torture he's ever -
No, no, this is the sweetest torture, the best feeling, because one of Remus' hands has left his hip and squirmed under his body to grasp his dick in a grip so sure that Sirius almost loses it right there. Instead, he bites at the inside of his cheeks and squeezes his eyes closed.
A few strokes of Remus' hand, hot even against Sirius' inflamed flesh is all it takes though, and Sirius can't help but scream into the sheets below him. Remus' slippery fingers return to Sirius' hip, holding him steady as he manages six more thrusts into Sirius' quivering body before he too surrenders to his release.
Sirius has no inclination to move, even when Remus all but collapses on top of him, his forehead pressed in between Sirius' shoulder blades. It's only when Remus moves several minutes later, sprawling on his back next to Sirius, that Sirius thinks to unfold his own body.
For a long while, the only noise in the room is of two men trying to get their breath back. Then Sirius reaches out blindly, his hand landing on Remus' ribs.
"Fuckin’...brilliant at that," he mumbles sleepily.
"Me or you?" Remus asks with a soft laugh.
"Both of us," Sirius declares. "Fuckin' sex gods. That was..." Sirius pauses as a yawn mangles his speech. "...really good," he finishes.
"Mmm," Remus murmurs, reaching down and patting Sirius' hand where it rests on his side.
Sirius blinks up at the ceiling blearily. "'m gonna fall asleep," he yawns. "You want me to move?"
"No," Remus says, laughing again. "Be a bit insulted if you could, actually."
Sirius snorts with laugher, yawns again and tightens the grip of his fingers on Remus' ribs before surrendering himself to blissful, fuzzy slumber.
**
When Sirius wakes up in the morning - or maybe the afternoon, he has no idea - it's to the smells of coffee and frying bacon and Remus. He doesn't feel nearly as hungover as he thinks he should, and there isn't even a moment's confusion. Waking up wrapped in sheets that smell of Remus feels worryingly natural and although he's in no hurry to wash the smell off his skin, he does feel sticky and a little grimy.
Fishing his jeans from the floor and tugging them up over his hips without bothering to button or zip them, Sirius wanders into the kitchen. Remus is standing at the oven, prodding the tip of his wand towards a frying pan.
"Smells good," Sirius says, his voice croaky.
"Morning."
Remus turns with a smile. He's obviously been up for a while, because his hair is wet from the shower, and there's half a cup of coffee next to the oven.
"Morning. Have I got time for a shower before we eat?"
"Sure," Remus says. He waves his wand and the flame under the pan gets smaller. "I did sausages and bacon. Eggs and toast alright?"
"Mmm, fantastic. I'll be five minutes."
In the shower, Sirius is struck again at how oddly normal it feels to get up after a night of frankly mind-blowing sex to find Remus puttering around the kitchen, smiling at him. True to his word, Sirius keeps his shower brief and by the time he's pulled on a clean pair of jeans and made his way back to the kitchen, Remus is just setting plates down on the table.
The Daily Prophet is lying in the middle of the table and Remus extracts the sports section, passing it to Sirius as they sit down. The silence as they read and eat isn't awkward at all, until Sirius starts sneaking glances at Remus over the top of the paper. Remus' hair is drying slowly, and it seems as though the lightest strands dry first, because there are little wisps of gold around his head. As Sirius watches, Remus rolls his eyes at something he reads in the paper. Sirius' stomach clenches at the sight and he doesn't know why. The view of Remus reading the paper and munching a slice of toast isn't anything new, but Sirius has never had a reaction like this to it.
"No, see, it wasn't," Sirius says suddenly. Remus looks up from the paper, politely puzzled.
"I'm sorry?"
"It wasn't just sex. I've had loads of just sex, and that wasn't it, Moony."
"So..."
"So," Sirius says, trying to form his thoughts together before he blurts them out. "So what do you think? Just sex or..."
"Not," Remus says, closing the paper and folding it neatly before he sets it aside. "Not just sex. How could it be just sex with you? You're my best friend."
"So." Sirius clears his throat. "So what do we do?"
"I don't know," Remus says honestly. "This is...we’re in the middle of a war, it's not exactly the best time to start a - "
Sirius tosses the sports pages aside and rounds, the table, pulling Remus to his feet.
"Are you going to talk to me about 'sensible'?" he asks, pressing a soft kiss to Remus' lower lip.
"The word was going to come up, yes," Remus admits.
"When did I last care about sensible?"
"Hmm. Good point," Remus acknowledges.
"So..." Sirius prompts, hardly daring to hope.
"So..." Remus says, a small smile curving his lips as he leans in for a brief kiss. "Let's try."
"Good," Sirius grins. "Good."
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, Frank Longbottom (R/S, J/L)
Summary: Strangeness begets strangeness, and the next thing you know you're in bed with your best friend and it's a million miles from 'just sex'. 1st war era.
Notes: If this fic had a soundtrack, it would be 'Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong' by Radiohead. Just so you know. In my head, that is the James/Lily song, and when I started this, I sort of intended to carry it on with more of a James/Lily focus. I might still do at some point, but who knows.
Words: 5000ish
Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR's
Sirius stomps up the stairs to his flat, tugging off his scarf and swearing softly under his breath as he goes. He's getting more frustrated with every passing Order mission - mission, yeah right - as they seem to involve nothing more than watching buildings that no one approaches. He's been on the early shift from seven in the morning until three in the afternoon, and yet again, a staggering lack of Death Eaters had abounded. It's stupid, Sirius tells himself. Why would they use the door? On what planet would that make sense? They're wizards, for fuck's sake!
Sirius thinks that maybe that's the problem. Because Merlin forbid anyone should admit that the Death Eaters - and when you get right down to it, Voldemort too - are just that. Just wizards and witches. 'They are us,' Sirius had said at one Order meeting, finally sickening of the attempts to explain the Death Eaters as something else, something aberrant and impossibly other. The looks he got in return made him painfully aware of just how similar the good guys and the bad guys really were, because he could see it clearly on a lot of faces - he is a Black after all - and isn't that just typical, isn't it fucking great? The side of light is just as judgmental and bigoted as 'them'.
With a snort of frustration, Sirius fumbles his key into the lock and pushes through the door, tossing his scarf to one side and shrugging off his jacket.
"Hi," Remus says from the sofa. Sirius nearly chokes on his own tongue. Remus is flat on his back, his legs hanging over one end of the sofa, an arm slung across his face.
"God! You scared the life out of me. I thought you were working til late?"
"Huh," Remus grunts from behind his arm.
Uh-oh.
"What happened?"
"Not now," Remus says, unmoving. Sirius just raises his eyebrows and crosses the room to floo call James. It's something they all do now, even though Remus and Sirius share a flat. As soon as they get back from a mission, they let one of the others know they're safe.
Lily answers the floo, something Sirius still can't get used to. Lily and James aren't living together, not officially. Lily's parents wouldn't stand for that without a ring on her finger, but she spends more time there than they know.
"Hello, Evans."
"Hello," Lily says briefly, only her head visible, and not even all of that, as though she can't wait to get away.
"Is James around?"
"No," Lily says. "No, he's - " she pauses briefly. " - at the shops."
"'At the shops', eh?" Sirius laughs. "Randy buggers. Tell him I got back okay, will you? Have him floo me when he gets back from the er, shops."
"Alright. I have to go, I have something in the oven."
Sirius' eyes widen in delight at that all too easy opportunity. "Oh, Miss Evans! The disgrace!" But Lily's face disappears before he can expand any further and Sirius raises his eyebrows. "Moody cow," he says idly. "Maybe she really is up the stick."
"What?" Remus asks.
"Preggers. Up the duff. In a family way."
"What?"
"Nothing, doesn't matter," Sirius sighs.
"Was that Lily?"
"Yeah."
"She sounded strange," Remus remarks, his eyes still hidden by his forearm.
"She is strange. That's why James likes her. Probably why she likes James, actually, come to think of it."
"Did she say she had something in the oven?" Remus asks, suddenly bolting upright.
"Yes," Sirius says exasperatedly. "Why, what's wrong with that?"
"Lily doesn't cook," Remus says. "Lily never cooks."
"So they were probably shagging," Sirius says, waving his hand. "She told me Prongs was at the shops, and he never..." It clicks into place suddenly. Lily hasn't been that distant with him since school, and Remus is right. Lily never cooks, and James...
"Never goes shopping," Remus finishes.
"D'you think...?" Sirius starts, his eyes wide and fearful. "Was she trying to tell us something?"
"I - I - yeah, I think we should..."
"I'll take the bike over, you let the Order know."
"Fuck that," Remus says, getting to his feet and crossing to the fireplace. "You're not going on your own."
"Don't waste time!"
"Get the bike, disillusion it, meet me outside my bedroom window in a minute," Remus orders, grabbing a pinch of floo powder. As Sirius runs for the door, he can hear Remus shouting Peter's address into the flames. Sirius staggers down the stairs, not sure how he remains upright. He's so scared, all of a sudden, as though the war hadn't been real until now, until this. He keeps seeing James in his mind's eye, lying quiet and pale and still, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.
Shaking his head against the images, Sirius runs to the bike and disillusions it and himself before following Remus' directions. By the time he gets up to the second floor window, Remus is already waiting.
"God, this is weird," he mutters. "Where are you?"
"Here," Sirius says, reaching out an all but invisible hand and grasping Remus' forearm. Once Remus manages to settle himself on the bike, Sirius reaches around and performs the disillusionment charm on him.
"Good?" Remus checks.
"Good," Sirius confirms. "Hold on to me."
Remus reaches forward blindly and edges his arms around Sirius' chest. He's got lifts on the bike before when the bike was invisible, but not when Sirius was too, and definitely not when he himself was pretty much see-through. "Gotcha," he says.
They leap forward in the air, the noise of the engine baffling passers by below until Sirius goes higher.
"I called Peter!" Remus yells over the rushing wind. "And Frank."
"Good," Sirius yells back. "Five minutes!"
The bike leaps forward again, and Remus closes his eyes against the sickening blur of scenery. It doesn't enter his head for a second that they might be rushing in with the full cavalry for nothing at all. He knows in his heart, he can feel that something is wrong, something has happened.
Considerably less than five minutes later, Sirius lands the bike a bit away from James' house. "Keep the dissilusion on as long as you can," Sirius whispers from Remus' side. Remus nods before he realises Sirius can't see him.
"Yeah," he whispers. "Let's get over there."
James' house is on a quiet road opposite a park. The houses are not huge, but decently sized, all with large bay windows in the front. Remus feels his stomach lurch when he sees a brief flash of several tall figures moving inside before the curtains swish closed across the window.
"You see that?" Sirius asks.
"Yes."
"We're not waiting for Peter and the others," Sirius' voice says next to his ear.
"Of course we're not," Remus says, feeling slightly offended that Sirius would expect him to suggest that.
"Come on, then," Sirius says. They hurry up the steps to the front door. Sirius and Remus are both keyed into the wards, and Sirius' whispered spell opens the door easily. Inside, Remus shuts the door behind them with a soft click. The stairs are directly in front of the door, and the living room off to the right. The door to the living room is shut tight, and as Sirius opens it with another spell, the noise is suddenly deafening. There are shouts and curses and panic, and Remus thinks they manage to slip inside without anyone being any the wiser.
Because, he realises, the four Death Eaters in the room are totally focussed on Lily. And with good reason. Remus feels like he could cheer. Although there's no sign of James, Lily is upright and breathing. What's more, in spite of a nasty cut on her temple and sheet of blood down one cheek, she has her wand pressed deep into the neck of one of the Death Eaters. Her free arm is around his throat.
"I'll kill you," she's saying. "I will kill you. Get out, get out of my house!"
Remus unfreezes and stuns one of the other Death Eaters, who all have their wands trained on Lily. He falls forward with a grunt and the other occupants of the room, including Lily, whirl in confusion.
"It's us, Red!" Sirius yells, knowing Lily will get the message. Sure enough, Remus sees Lily's face break into a smile. She steps back from the Death Eater she was using as a shield and stuns him, turning her wand on one of the others at the same time as Remus hits him with a jinx.
It's all over remarkably quickly. While Sirius conjures ropes to tie the unconscious Death Eaters, Remus disillusions himself and hurries over to Lily who is standing frozen, her wand still dangling from her fingertips. Remus takes it from her and places it on the shelf. Lily stares at him and then blinks twice, before she crumples. Remus thinks she's passing out and grabs her hurriedly, but she bursts into horrible, child-like sobs instead and clings to him. Scared, Remus realises. When terrifying things happen, things so bad that you have to act immediately, the fear will hit you afterwards, and evidently it's hit Lily like a ton of bricks.
"Shh," he whispers, rocking her back and forth. "Shh, you're okay, you're fine, you did it, you're - "
"James," Lily chokes out.
Sirius makes a garbled noise in his throat and looks up from securing the last Death Eater.
"Where is he?" Remus asks, cupping Lily's face in his hands and staring at her.
"I think they k - "
"Where is James?" Remus demands, cutting her off before she can say the words.
"Ups-stairs," Lily manages around a sob.
Immediately, Sirius is on his feet and heading for the stairs.
"Sirius, no," Remus barks out. "Wait here. Stay with Lily and keep an eye on these ones. Frank and Peter and the rest will be here soon. I'll - I'll check."
Lily gives a hiccupping sob at that and lets Remus guide her over to Sirius who takes her hand in a tight grip, staring up at Remus the whole time.
"Re - "
"Just - Just make sure Lily's head has stopped bleeding, alright?" Remus says, swallowing awkwardly.
The fourteen steps up to the first floor seem to take Remus forever, and at the same time, he finds himself outside the bedroom door all too quickly. There's blood on the door handle, he notes detachedly. Just a smear, just a little bit, but still there, still not dry.
With a deep breath, Remus toes the door open. James is lying face down by the bed, a pool of blood around his head. Dead, he's dead, Remus thinks as he takes in that black pool. Who could lose that and survive? There's a roaring sound in Remus' ears as he crosses the room and falls to his knees by James' side. His hands tremble as he reaches out and turns James over, leaning close to him as he does so. James' face is a mess. His nose looks broken, and his bottom lip is split, at least one tooth missing from his mouth. Remus settles one finger along James' top lip and waits. For a black second there's nothing, and then he feels a soft gust of breath against his skin. It feels like every muscle in his body has turned to water as he slumps down, squeezing James' shoulder.
"HE'S ALIVE!" Remus yells, and from downstairs, he can hear Lily's little scream of relief. Pointing his wand at James, Remus whispers, "enervate."
James' eyelids flutter a couple of times and then come open. He stares about in panic.
"Lily!"
"Downstairs," Remus says, squeezing James' shoulder again. "She's fine. You're both fine."
"No! Lily!"
Remus hears her footsteps pounding up the stairs and then she's there, collapsing at James' side, cradling his head in her lap.
"Oh, God," she breathes. "I thought you were - "
"Never," James manages, grasping Lily's hand and brushing it against his lips. It comes away smeared with blood, but Lily doesn't seem to notice. "I'd never do that to you."
Wordlessly, Remus stands and leaves them. He can hear other members of the Order arriving now, can hear Sirius yelling at them for their slow response, but he stops when Remus arrives, laying a placating hand on his arm.
***
It's dark by the time Remus and Sirius get back to their flat. St. Mungo's had discharged Lily after only a brief glance at the cut on her head. It had bled a lot, as scalp wounds will, but there was no sign of concussion. James was staying overnight for observation, in case any spell damage came to light. The pool of blood that had looked so dark and deadly to Remus' eyes was due to nothing more than a few scalp wounds, and the damage to James' nose and mouth, which were all easily repaired.
Remus and Sirius had given their version of events to Dumbledore, along with James and Lily, before escorting Lily back to her parents' house for the night. She protested vociferously, but only family members were permitted to stay the night at St. Mungo's, and no one thought she should be alone after the Death Eaters had sought her and James out specifically.
"Drink?" Sirius offers as soon as they get through the door.
"Abso-bloody-lutely," Remus agrees fervently, slumping down onto the sofa.
Within minutes, Sirius joins him with a bottle of Ogden's and two glasses. Sirius' hand trembles a little as he pours the drinks, but Remus pretends not to notice and just accepts the glass, looking at the amber liquid intently for a moment before Sirius' glass clinks against his.
"To getting there in time," Sirius suggests. Remus gives a snort of humourless laughter and taps his glass to Sirius'. They both finish their drinks in one grateful swallow, and Sirius wastes no time in refilling their glasses.
Remus drinks his second slower, but Sirius shows no signs of slowing down and knocks back his second and third drinks before Remus is finished. Something prickles at Sirius' mind as he watches Remus cradle his glass in one hand, staring into its depths.
"Why were you home from work early?" Sirius asks.
Remus makes a small noise of displeasure and finishes his drink, motioning for the bottle again. Sirius passes it over wordlessly. "Lost m'job," Remus mumbles.
"No! Why?"
"Unreliable, aren't I?"
"Since when?" Sirius demands incredulously.
"Since the war, since the Order, since I'm a bloody werewolf."
"Ah, Remus," Sirius sighs, slinging his arm around Remus' shoulders. "You don't have to work, you know?"
"Let's not have this conversation again, Padfoot?" Remus requests.
"I'm just saying, if you wanted to not work, focus on the Order full time, then I could - "
"No," Remus says.
"But - "
"No, Padfoot. Look, I'm not stupid, I know how much flats in this area cost, and I've figured out you're undercharging my rent by at least half, I'm not taking anything else from you."
"Stupid, stubborn werewolf," Sirius says affectionately, squeezing Remus' shoulders and pouring them some more drinks.
**
It's several hours later and they've been drinking steadily, when Remus looks at Sirius sharply.
"Are you okay?"
"Why d'you ask?"
"Because I know you," Remus points out. "Because I know what James means to you."
"I was really scared," Sirius says in a hollow voice.
"I know," Remus says soothingly.
"No, I was really scared," Sirius says. "Earlier, on the way home, I was thinking about - about how boring it was just to be on surveillance all day, kind of wishing something would happen and - and when it did, I was crap."
"You were not," Remus interrupts fiercely. "You got us there before anyone else, you took out two of the Death Eaters alone, you took care of Lily - "
Sirius shakes his head. "We just - just sat there and cried until you called. I was rubbish."
"Come here, you dozy puppy," Remus says affectionately, pulling Sirius into a rough hug. "You did what you needed to do and you didn't fall apart until afterwards. No one can ask any more."
"Maybe," Sirius says.
"You know I'm right," Remus asserts. "Can I get you another drink?"
"Yeah. Yeah, thanks, mate."
"No need to thank me, you paid for the firewhisky."
"So I did," Sirius remarks. "And you know I didn't mean for the drink."
"Mmm," Remus mutters as he pours them both another glass. "Listen, I know you feel bad, but from a - a ridiculous, neutral point of view, tonight was a success."
"I know. I know, we captured some Death Eaters. They won't be major players, will they? They never bloody are."
"No," Remus admits. "But it's four less."
"Yeah," Sirius sighs, reaching for his drink. Remus hands it to him and they clink their glasses.
"We managed," Remus says quietly.
"Yeah," Sirius says, taking a mouthful of his whisky before looking at Remus seriously. "We have to be more careful."
"Sirius - "
"I mean it. All of us. We need to make a - a - I don't know, a password or a secret question, or something."
"Hey, maybe we could have a secret handshake, too!" Remus cracks, toasting sloppily with his glass.
"I mean it!" Sirius snaps, slamming his glass down on the table and taking hold of Remus' arm in a tight grip. When Sirius meets Remus' gaze, his eyes are wide and troubled. Remus frowns at him.
"Wha - "
"I can't lose you, any of you," Sirius says fiercely. "You lot are all I've got."
"Me too, you know," Remus says gently.
"No," Sirius says immediately. "Sorry, Remus, but no. You have your parents, and they love you. I - I think the only people who love me are - "
Without thinking, Remus leans forward and presses his lips against Sirius'. There isn't even a second's hesitation before Sirius' lips move against his, and Remus can feel his breath coming in short gusts for a moment before he pulls back to look Sirius in the eye. For a minute they just examine each other, before Remus sets his own glass down and moves in to kiss Sirius again, his hand going into the hair at the nape of Sirius' neck. This time, Sirius' mouth opens under his, and Remus reaches forward, exploring and tasting with his tongue while Sirius' hands flutter over his sides and finally come to rest on his waist and shoulder.
"You won't lose us," Remus says, pulling back for a moment. "You won't lose me."
Sirius gasps a breath against Remus' neck before pressing his face close again for another kiss. Remus obliges him, searching for another taste of firewhiskey in Sirius' mouth, and before he knows what's happening, Sirius is pressing him back into the sofa.
"Wait - " Remus mutters against Sirius' lips, getting to his feet and reaching one hand down to Sirius, looking at him silently.
Sirius looks up, his eyes fixing on Remus for a moment before he reaches up, lets Remus pull him to his feet and into another kiss.
"Your place or mine?" Remus quips.
"My room's a mess," Sirius says into Remus' neck, feeling long fingers tangle through his hair.
"What a shock," Remus says, tilting Sirius' chin up and pressing a kiss to his open lips before tightening his grasp and apparating them both into his own room.
"Show off," Sirius reprimands him, before falling silent as Remus tugs at the bottom of his t-shirt questioningly. Sirius nods briefly and raises his arms. He doesn't see where the shirt ends up, because as soon as it's gone, Remus pulls him close and into a kiss, his hands roaming Sirius' bare back. "Moony..."
"What?"
"Take your shirt off," Sirius requests.
Remus' lips quirk into a smile and Sirius has just enough time to wonder when Remus got so bold before he's pushed into a sitting position on the edge of Remus' bed, watching as Remus' fingers flick his shirt buttons open one by one.
"What do you want to do?" Remus asks, dropping his shirt to the floor.
"I - "
For some reason, Sirius' mouth is dry, his palms damp with sweat. He hasn't been this nervous since his first time.
"I want - "
Remus kneels astride Sirius' legs, tilting his chin up and planting a quick peck on his lips.
"Mmm?"
"I want you to fuck me," Sirius bursts out.
Remus stills for a moment, his thumbs running over Sirius' cheekbones.
"Really?"
It's strange to see Remus' face this close up, and Sirius lets his gaze skitter over warm brown eyes, faded scars and an oddly full lower lip before he answers.
"Yes."
Sirius reaches for Remus' hips and pulls his friend down with him as he flops back onto the bed. Remus' belt is more fiddly than it has any right to be, and Sirius is fairly sure that some of the warm breath of his face is from Remus' laughter. Remus, on the other hand, makes short work of Sirius' jeans, nudging the material down far enough for Sirius to wriggle out of them completely.
"Struggling?" Remus quips.
"Your fucking belt - " Sirius snaps, frustrated.
"Here," Remus offers, pushing himself upright and standing. He undoes his belt with embarrassing ease and then all of a sudden he's there in front of Sirius and he's naked.
Sirius feels a surge of lust so strong it unnerves him and he reaches out to stop Remus from rejoining him on the bed.
"Wait, wait, wait a minute," Sirius says breathlessly. "What - what are we doing here?"
Remus looks askance at him. "Umm..."
"I mean - what is this?"
"Sex," Remus says plainly. "S'just sex, Padfoot."
"Just sex," Sirius echoes, not sure if he's relieved or not. Briefly, he feels strange, and banishes the feeling by pulling Remus back down onto the bed. Remus settles himself between Sirius' thighs and Sirius sees sparks when Remus attacks his chest with lips and tongue and teeth - fucking hell, teeth!
Sirius makes a wholly undignified noise as Remus sucks at his collarbone and twists his fingers into Remus' hair. Remus murmurs a questioning noise against Sirius' chest and the vibrations across his skin make Sirius shiver.
"Stop teasing," Sirius demands, managing to catch Remus off-guard and flip them over. He kisses a line down Remus' neck. "Stop teasing and fuck me."
Remus takes him at his word and within minutes has lube in one hand, gently working Sirius open.
“Enough,” Sirius bites out, when Remus gets up to three fingers.
“Sure?”
“Yes, damn it!”
Snickering, Remus changes their positions, sitting up and pulling Sirius astride his lap.
“In your own time,” he grins, his teeth dazzlingly white in the dim light.
Sirius lines up and sinks down and - oh God right there!
“Move,” he stutters.
“You’re on top, you move,” Remus counters with a nip to Sirius’ chin. Nonetheless, he moves his hips as best he can and Sirius clenches his fingers into Remus’ hair desperately. They move together, slow and as easy as if they’ve had years of practice. Remus trails a line of kisses across Sirius’ chest, up over the line of his throat, ending up on his mouth, a swipe of hot tongue searing Sirius’ lower lip.
It seems almost a lazy movement as Remus arches his hips up at the same time as he forces Sirius' down, but Sirius feels like he's going to die. He chokes out a ragged breath and buries his face into Remus' hair, his arms trembling around Remus' shoulders.
Remus gasps against Sirius' skin, his hands on the small of Sirius' back, holding him close. It's not enough, though. Not -
"I need - " Remus chokes out.
Sirius throws his head back and groans.
"Anything," he manages, and he means it, God, does he mean it! Remus feels so damn good, and Sirius would give anything for this to last.
Remus groans against Sirius' shoulder before reaching up and grasping his hair, guiding him down into a hot kiss.
"Need - harder - " Remus manages to garble against Sirius' throat.
"Me too, God, me too," Sirius moans, and he really does. He just wants Remus to pound into him, fuck this horrible day away. "Wait," Sirius mutters. "Wait."
It's the hardest thing he's ever had to do, but he gets up out of Remus' lap, unable to stop a moan of loss as Remus' cock slides out of him. In an instant, Sirius has repositioned himself on the bed. He gets on his knees with his back to Remus, his arms on the bed, fingers gripping the sheets convulsively. He hears Remus choke behind him, and finds himself desperately wondering what facial expression would accompany a noise like that. There's an instant of delay before strong hands grasp his hips and Remus drives in fully, his fingers tight around Sirius' hipbones.
"Yes?" Remus asks, his fingers slipping on Sirius' skin.
"Yes," Sirius manages. "Yes, fucking hell, yes - "
His voice dies in his throat when Remus sets up a blinding rhythm, long fingers squeezing Sirius' hips in time with his movements. Sirius is vaguely aware that he's talking - although babbling is probably a more accurate description of the broken words and cries spilling from his lips - a lot more than he usually does during sex. He'd be embarrassed at Remus hearing such things, such begging and cursing and half-sobbing, if they didn't seem to rouse Remus to move faster and harder inside him.
This is perfect. Perfect, and just what he needs, and Sirius turns his head, straining his neck to look at Remus. He seems golden in the half-light, scars hardly visible at all, that full lower lip clenched between his teeth as he tosses his head, throwing sweat-damp hair back out of his eyes.
"Sirius," he grinds out and Sirius watches his mouth move hungrily. "Sirius, you - close?"
"Fuck, yes." Sirius is surprised at the question. He's been close for ages, and this is the sweetest torture he's ever -
No, no, this is the sweetest torture, the best feeling, because one of Remus' hands has left his hip and squirmed under his body to grasp his dick in a grip so sure that Sirius almost loses it right there. Instead, he bites at the inside of his cheeks and squeezes his eyes closed.
A few strokes of Remus' hand, hot even against Sirius' inflamed flesh is all it takes though, and Sirius can't help but scream into the sheets below him. Remus' slippery fingers return to Sirius' hip, holding him steady as he manages six more thrusts into Sirius' quivering body before he too surrenders to his release.
Sirius has no inclination to move, even when Remus all but collapses on top of him, his forehead pressed in between Sirius' shoulder blades. It's only when Remus moves several minutes later, sprawling on his back next to Sirius, that Sirius thinks to unfold his own body.
For a long while, the only noise in the room is of two men trying to get their breath back. Then Sirius reaches out blindly, his hand landing on Remus' ribs.
"Fuckin’...brilliant at that," he mumbles sleepily.
"Me or you?" Remus asks with a soft laugh.
"Both of us," Sirius declares. "Fuckin' sex gods. That was..." Sirius pauses as a yawn mangles his speech. "...really good," he finishes.
"Mmm," Remus murmurs, reaching down and patting Sirius' hand where it rests on his side.
Sirius blinks up at the ceiling blearily. "'m gonna fall asleep," he yawns. "You want me to move?"
"No," Remus says, laughing again. "Be a bit insulted if you could, actually."
Sirius snorts with laugher, yawns again and tightens the grip of his fingers on Remus' ribs before surrendering himself to blissful, fuzzy slumber.
**
When Sirius wakes up in the morning - or maybe the afternoon, he has no idea - it's to the smells of coffee and frying bacon and Remus. He doesn't feel nearly as hungover as he thinks he should, and there isn't even a moment's confusion. Waking up wrapped in sheets that smell of Remus feels worryingly natural and although he's in no hurry to wash the smell off his skin, he does feel sticky and a little grimy.
Fishing his jeans from the floor and tugging them up over his hips without bothering to button or zip them, Sirius wanders into the kitchen. Remus is standing at the oven, prodding the tip of his wand towards a frying pan.
"Smells good," Sirius says, his voice croaky.
"Morning."
Remus turns with a smile. He's obviously been up for a while, because his hair is wet from the shower, and there's half a cup of coffee next to the oven.
"Morning. Have I got time for a shower before we eat?"
"Sure," Remus says. He waves his wand and the flame under the pan gets smaller. "I did sausages and bacon. Eggs and toast alright?"
"Mmm, fantastic. I'll be five minutes."
In the shower, Sirius is struck again at how oddly normal it feels to get up after a night of frankly mind-blowing sex to find Remus puttering around the kitchen, smiling at him. True to his word, Sirius keeps his shower brief and by the time he's pulled on a clean pair of jeans and made his way back to the kitchen, Remus is just setting plates down on the table.
The Daily Prophet is lying in the middle of the table and Remus extracts the sports section, passing it to Sirius as they sit down. The silence as they read and eat isn't awkward at all, until Sirius starts sneaking glances at Remus over the top of the paper. Remus' hair is drying slowly, and it seems as though the lightest strands dry first, because there are little wisps of gold around his head. As Sirius watches, Remus rolls his eyes at something he reads in the paper. Sirius' stomach clenches at the sight and he doesn't know why. The view of Remus reading the paper and munching a slice of toast isn't anything new, but Sirius has never had a reaction like this to it.
"No, see, it wasn't," Sirius says suddenly. Remus looks up from the paper, politely puzzled.
"I'm sorry?"
"It wasn't just sex. I've had loads of just sex, and that wasn't it, Moony."
"So..."
"So," Sirius says, trying to form his thoughts together before he blurts them out. "So what do you think? Just sex or..."
"Not," Remus says, closing the paper and folding it neatly before he sets it aside. "Not just sex. How could it be just sex with you? You're my best friend."
"So." Sirius clears his throat. "So what do we do?"
"I don't know," Remus says honestly. "This is...we’re in the middle of a war, it's not exactly the best time to start a - "
Sirius tosses the sports pages aside and rounds, the table, pulling Remus to his feet.
"Are you going to talk to me about 'sensible'?" he asks, pressing a soft kiss to Remus' lower lip.
"The word was going to come up, yes," Remus admits.
"When did I last care about sensible?"
"Hmm. Good point," Remus acknowledges.
"So..." Sirius prompts, hardly daring to hope.
"So..." Remus says, a small smile curving his lips as he leans in for a brief kiss. "Let's try."
"Good," Sirius grins. "Good."
